How My Childhood Tainted My View Of Parenthood
Whether or not I want to have kids is a hot topic these days. And I get it—I’m in my thirties, I’m in a committed relationship, and (if I do say so myself) I mostly have my life together. I believe that most people close to me would call me emotionally well-adjusted, responsible, and compassionate. Those are pretty good traits for a mother to have, right? I also have a long-term partner who is also those things. You certainly don’t have to have a partner to be a parent, but you can see how outsiders believe all the pieces are in place for me to procreate. After having a cocktail or two recently, I surprised myself by really divulging my biggest fears about parenthood. I unlocked something in my brain. I didn’t even really know it before, but I stated what I worried about and I saw a lot of confusion on the faces around me. “Oh. This is just me—these are my neuroses.” And I realized that it was my childhood—my parents—that created those.
I fear it’s either motherhood or work
It was for my mom. She gave up her career entirely to have a family. She never looked back. But she also…didn’t have to do that. We had a live-in nanny and a housekeeper. I guess I worry that, like my mom, I’ll become complacent not working and just give up my aspirations when I have kids.