You’ve Lost Weight, But Are You Keeping Old Insecurities?
If you were overweight for most of your life and finally got down to a healthy size, it can be hard for your brain to catch up to the fact that your body has changed. Living as a plus-sized individual makes a person form a lot of habits, insecurities, and complexes. You were so used to living a certain way, and all of the habits that you felt protected you in every given situation. It can be hard to just release those once you lose the weight. It can be hard to believe that you’ll be safe—that you won’t be ridiculed or gawked at. It can honestly just be hard to believe that, when you look down, the body you see is the body you have. Maybe it’s all a dream. So, even if you’ve lost a lot of weight, are you still holding onto old body insecurities?
You’re careful about eating in public
When dining with a group, you still order the super healthy thing, even if it’s not what you feel like eating. You don’t want them thinking, “See, that’s why she’s overweight” if you order the burger. In fact, in the past, some friends said things like that to you (they didn’t really know how to help you on your weight-loss journey).
You still won’t get in the pool
You’re still very timid around pool or beach events. You wear a large cover-up. You don’t get in the water. You hide under the umbrella, under your mumu, under your tummy-tucking one-piece but…there’s no tummy to tuck anymore.
You won’t join the group workout
You’re so used to sitting out the group hike or fitness class because, in the past, you held people back. You weren’t in shape to keep up. But you are now. You know you are—that’s how you got into this great shape! So join the fun.
You’re still self-deprecating
You still make self-deprecating comments about yourself and your body. This was your armor in the past. You wanted to make a comment about yourself before somebody else beat you to it. But, nobody’s thinking that negative thing you just said about yourself. They see someone gorgeous so, what you just said makes no sense.
You assume that whistle is for somebody else
If somebody whistles, catcalls, or does something like that, you don’t turn around. You always assume it’s for someone else. You’re used to thinking that. But it’s for you. So turn around and lecture that man about catcalling!
Or this guy just wants your chair—not your company
A man asks if he can sit with you at a bar or a coffee shop. You still assume he just wants a place to sit, and doesn’t want to talk to you. You dive back into your book. You think he’s asking you questions to be polite, because he’s sharing your table. You don’t get it: he’s flirting with you.
You change in the bathroom
When you’re on a girls’ trip, and everyone is changing for the night, you wait for the bathroom to be available and change in there. While everyone else is in the common area, complimenting each other on fabulous butts and boobs, you’re hiding away.
You hesitate to have people shop for you
You still feel terrified at the prospect of someone shopping for you. You’d never encourage clothing gifts in the past. You didn’t want to give people your measurements. You haven’t accepted the fact that you now get to say, “I’m a size medium” or “I’m a size six!”
You say you aren’t ready for that setup
For a long time, you used your weight as a reason to procrastinate living. People wanted to set you up on dates. You’d say, “I’m not ready—maybe after I lose weight.” You’re still saying that but…you did lose that weight.
You’re particular about photos
You still take control when someone is trying to snap a photo of you. You hop behind the camera, adjust the angle. You ask for a redo, so you can put your arm in the right position. You don’t yet realize that you look amazing from any angle and in any position.
You still dread social media comments
When you post a selfie, you dread the comments. You get that notification that someone has commented, and you open it up, but you close your eyes, afraid to look. You fear it’s a comment on your weight. But it’s all compliments!
You don’t take the spotlight
You still struggle with your feelings of self-worth so, in conversation, you turn the focus to the other person. They try to ask about you, you just ask about them. You are still learning that you’re fabulous, fascinating, and worth discussing. That was always true, but when you were overweight, you told yourself that it wasn’t.
You have a lot of clothing rules
Only dark colors. No prints. Nothing tight. You have all of these leftover rules from the days you tried to conceal your body. You haven’t registered it yet: you look amazing in everything.
You won’t let a man pick you up
If a man wants to give you a piggyback ride, pick you up in the pool, or dip you on the dance floor, you resist. You fear you’ll be too heavy. But you aren’t—you’re fit now.
You’re afraid to make an entrance
For so long, you didn’t feel good about your appearance, so you’d try to make yourself obscure and small when you walked in a room. Perhaps you still do this. But, it’s time to make an entrance. Hold your head up high, wave at everybody, and come in loud and proud.