Ready To Become “Official Official” With Your Boo? Read This Before The Conversation

August 12, 2019  |  

Couple Taking Selfie At The Beach

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So you’ve been dating someone for awhile, and you’re thinking about taking things to the next level. This can be an exciting moment in relationship development and also an anxiety filled one.

The dreaded “defining the relationship” talk can leave many couples hovering in the grey area with no answers. This can be an uncomfortable position to be in if you are someone who prefers your relationships a little more black and white. A lot of pressure usually surrounds the discussion, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

“I think having conversations about relationships and relating styles is a great way to front-load a conversation like this,” Shula Melamed, MA, MPH. told Elite Daily. “Getting a sense of what they are looking for, talking about future hopes and dreams, where they see themselves, how they would like to spend their days, what they want to do in their free time, [and] how they relate to their family, is a great information-gathering exercise.”

Melamed suggested some ways you can broach the convo without it being so serious. First of all, none of that “we need to talk” nonsense. Try to use a phrase like, “I feel lucky that we’ve had this time to get to know each other.” Outline reasons why your time together has been meaningful for you, and let them know that you would love to continue in this capacity in a more committed way.

Another approach is just saying “I like what we’ve been doing. How would you feel about dating exclusively?” Make sure if you ask this, you don’t demand an immediate response. Open it up as an ongoing conversation–an exploration rather than an ultimatum.

But keep in mind, there are no hard rules. “As long as you’re honest, there probably isn’t a ‘right’ way to start the conversation,” Melamed said.


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