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For most modern millennial, the idea of monogamy was presented to us as the only way to properly do relation. But just like everything else in life, there is no “one size fits all” approach to partnership and love. In fact, I live by the idea that whatever two (or more) people agree on that is healthy and does no harm is good to go. So if an open relationship seems more like your thing, there’s no reason to be ashamed of it. Now is the time to align yourself with folks who desire the same lifestyle as you.

If you’re already in a relationship and want to open it up, remember that forcing your partner to do something they don’t want to do is the worst way to go.

“How do I get my partner to agree to an open relationship?” That’s completely the wrong way to go about opening up a relationship,” founder of the educational platform Unscripted Relationships, Stephanie Webb, Ph.D told Self.

“Many people do not want to be in an open relationship and forcing a [partner] is not a way to approach it at all,” Webb explained. “Instead the interest can be raised, but not pushed. If the [partner] draws a line and wants monogamy because that is what was initially expected in the relationship, it should be respected or the relationship should end.”

But if your current significant other is with it, be prepared to communicate a hell of a lot more.

“Fears and insecurities about a new type of relationship style are typical,” board-certified clinical sexologist Rhoda Lipscomb, Ph.D., told Self.

When those feelings come up, it doesn’t mean opening the relationship up is a bad idea, but it does mean you need to be ready to be bare and vulnerable about your jealousy, likes, dislikes and attractions in a way you wouldn’t normally be. Navigating these emotions  “can actually help the couple so long as they are able to communicate well about what the fears mean and move forward at a pace that works for both of them,” Lipscomb said.

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