Experts Say These Are The Signs You Are Not Ready For A Relationship Again

July 30, 2019  |  

This relationship is not working for me anymore

Source: Delmaine Donson / Getty

Not every season of your life is good for love. For some folks, getting out of a relationship may be the perfect time to redirect energy into yourself and forgo  romantic connection temporarily. For others, even if it’s been years since your last longterm bond, if there are still emotional wounds that need to be healed it may be best to continue on the single path until you’re in a more open space.

It can be hard to determine if you are ready for love or not, especially if you fall somewhere between the emotional states described above.  If you are having a hard time figuring out if you’re ready to date seriously again, it’s important to first ask yourself a few questions about how you envision relationship going forward.

“Figure out what you want and what you need in a relationship,” Dr. Candice Cooper-Lovett, PhD, LMFT, a sex therapist, lead therapist, and owner of A New Creation Psychotherapy Services, told Bustle. “Most of us do not know what our wants and needs are, and find ourselves in situations where we are not getting what we need nor deserve,” she says. “We must teach people how to treat us.”

Beyond examining what you want, when you are ready for the real thing, you stop dating casually. The quick fling suddenly loses its appeal and longterm potential takes its place.

“This may be a conscious or unconscious process,” Cooper-Lovett said. Once you switch your lens from casual bae to forever bae, you also stop being attracted to partners who are filled with red flags, and instead, open your arms to healthy relationships that could be fulfilling.

“It is difficult to receive romantic love if you’re not in a good space within yourself,” Cooper-Lovett said. “You would often reject things that could potentially make you happy due to the assumption that love would make things worse as if it would not work out.”

When you’re ready, you also develop a stronger sense and love of self.

“If you do not love yourself, how can you receive love from someone else,” Cooper-Lovett said. “You have to be on the quest for loving yourself and having a relationship with yourself before allowing someone else to show and give you love.”



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