How To Tell Your Parents Who You Are Dating, Even If You Know Your Loved Ones Won’t Like Them

July 9, 2019  |  

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While introducing your boo to your family should ideally be a wonderful experience, let’s be real–some family members are a complete pain in the a**. What makes it more difficult is when your loved ones have wild expectations of who you should be with, and the person you happen to fall in love with doesn’t fit the mold. Despite the drama, it doesn’t make sense to pick your partner based on your parents–after all, you’re going to see them every day and night, not your folks.

But talking to your fam about the person you love, knowing they won’t be initially well received can be difficult. Here are some tips from experts at Elite Daily about how to manage the awkwardness.

Have The Talk In Person

“Face-to-face conversations will give all parties the most amount of information (e.g. from verbal and energetic cues), which can range from enlightening to frightening, depending on the family’s style of communication,” Melody Li, licensed marriage and family therapist and multicultural couples specialist told Elite Daily.

Neutral Ground

Make sure you have the convo where both parties will be comfortable.

“If one intends on having face-to-face conversation but are concerned about boundaries violation, consider having the conversation at a ‘neutral territory’ where both parties have equal grounds and can step aside to regulate emotions, such as at a park,” Li advised.

Tell Your Family How They Help You

Telling your family how your partner contributes to your livelihood may soften them up

“You might say that this person makes me less anxious,” Anne Beverly, counselor in residence at Bluebird Counseling Center told Elite Daily.

“You might say that this person is there for me to lean on in tough times. Explain why you chose to bring this person into your life.”

This Won’t Be One And Done

Be patient. These conversations will evolve and possibly get better over time.

“Keep in mind that this process may require multiple conversations,” Li explained.

“Knowing this, it may be helpful to establish some healthy boundaries right off the bat. For example, keep language respectful and avoid making character judgements.”

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