There is nothing more exciting than a fun summer fling. The air feels good, clothes are looser, and the rooftop drinks are flowing. The atmosphere creates the perfect environment for a summer somebody, but what happens when the seasons change?
Some summer romances fizzle out as quickly as they begin, but some lucky folks may get to carry their love into the fall.
Match’s Chief Dating Expert Rachel DeAlto told Bustle that there are a couple of ways to set yourself up for a relationship longer than a fling post summer.
Take Your Time
While it’s okay to be direct about what you want, when it comes to casual relationships that you want to flip into something serious, you have to proceed with caution and patience. Keep your daydreams about commitment at bay while you all build your friendship and a deeper connection.
Don’t Rush Titles
If you and summer bae haven’t discussed moving forward, don’t assign any type of title to the relationship. But you can introduce them to your friends to gauge how the fit in your circle.
“Play it cool. Don’t add a title that hasn’t been pre-approved, in fact, don’t add a title at all. If your crush comes with you to a summer party, just introduce them by their name,” DeAlto suggests.
Pay Attention To If They Are Making Future Plans
If you are too afraid to ask directly if your boo sees you as a long term option, try taking note of if he mentions you in future plans.
“Are they making plans with you for the autumn? Have they incorporated you into their life? Have you met their friends or family? Do you have actual getting to know you conversations vs superficial conversations and sex?” DeAlto says. If those things aren’t happening, your fling probably isn’t considering you long term.
Take it slow, but eventually you will come to the point where you want to know if there is a future. First, prime them by asking them to do some relationship-type things with you.
DeAlto advises, “ if you’re in a fling and want more, I suggest easing into it and reading the signs before asking them to define the relationship. Ask them about coming with you to an event. Ask if you should invite their friends or family to an upcoming plan. Tell them how much you like them and enjoy spending time together.”