What To Know About Being With A Grieving Partner

June 10, 2019  |  
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grief stages

Source: Moyo Studio / Getty

Nobody plans for grief. There’s no such thing as a good time for it. The times you do lose someone in your life, it’s highly unlikely it’ll happen conveniently in the middle of your two-week vacation, for which you hadn’t even planned a flight or booked a hotel anywhere. Grief will strike while life is hectic, busy, and perhaps otherwise very happy, and everything will come to a screeching halt. All of the things you’re obsessing over like appointments and salaries and social engagements will suddenly be put into a sharp and even painful perspective. If you’ve lost a loved one before, you know all of this to be true. You also know that you do bounce back. It’s human nature to want to be happy, so your brain finds its way back to equilibrium. Now, having your romantic partner grieve the loss of a loved one is a complicated and entirely separate experience. You’re so close to the loss but it isn’t your loss. Here is what to know about being with a grieving partner.

grief stages

Source: Vladimir Vladimirov / Getty

You’ll feel bad discussing anything else

Whether it’s which friend you ran into at a coffee shop and how cute her baby is or how you don’t like the new Pilates teacher at your gym, you will feel silly and guilty reporting any of these updates to your partner who is going through something terrible. You’ll feel like any updates you have that are bad pale in comparison to his situation and any updates that are good are just insensitive.

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