If You Are Considering Dating Your Friend’s Ex, Read This Advice

May 14, 2019  |  
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Dating one of your girlfriend’s exes is probably one of the most taboo things you can do. The idea alone can send shockwaves through the core of any strong friendship.

But we are human, and if you find yourself falling for one of your friend’s exes, the first thing you need to do is analyze if the potential relationship is worth the established one.

“The very first thing you should consider is whether or not it may be potentially worth the possibility that you might risk losing a friend,” Dr Gary Brown, a prominent dating and couples’ therapist in Los Angeles, told Elite Daily. “Is it worth it?”

Even if your friend ends up saying “okay” to you dating their ex, thing can get really awkward really fast because humans and their feelings are unpredictable. But if you and your friend are transparent and communicate openly with each other, it may be worth the risk, but proceed with caution.

You also have to consider why this person you’re interested in is your friends ex to begin with. What happened between them? If there is bad blood, you probably are better off looking somewhere else for love.

“Your friend suffered greatly due to the breakup with someone they really loved,” Dr. Brown explained. “I would strongly consider if you want to put them and your friendship in a position where it would cause them even more pain to know that you wanted to date someone who caused them emotional harm.”

But if it wasn’t a bad breakup, just approach them directly and see how they feel about it. Time passed and the reason for breaking up matters.

“You can simply ask them how they might feel if you were to date their ex,” Dr. Brown told Elite Daily. “If it’s a recent ex, they may likely not be into it. If it’s an older ex from years ago, they may be [more] open to it.”

Boldly approaching the topic with raw, vulnerable honesty will save your friendship in the long run, even if you dating their ex doesn’t work out.

“The important thing is to let them know that your friendship with them is more important [to you] than dating their ex,” Brown advised. “It “would show them that you care about them enough not to do this behind their back.”

 

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