Experts Weigh In On Why Love At First Sight Shouldn’t Be Taken Seriously

April 25, 2019  |  

 

Couple walking arm around on sidewalk in city

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It can be a wild feeling to meet someone for the first time and feel instant fireworks and attraction. While it’s easy to get caught up in the raging emotions of “love at first sight,” that feeling, unsubstantiated by actual compatibility and lifestyle fit, remains just that—a feeling. Relationships need more than feeling. True partnership requires mutual respect, listening, empathy, kindness and matching goals, ambitions and values.

So even though love at first sight is a thing, we should be careful with how much we let it dictate our lives.

“That very strong electrical feeling that people say they have—that’s very much possible,” Niloo Dardashti, PhD, a psychologist and relationship expert in New York City told Cosmo. 

“With love, we’re talking about things like intimacy, tolerating somebody’s flaws, seeing them as a whole person and still liking them, and so on. That’s a lot of stuff that generally doesn’t happen in the first moment you look at someone,”  Dardashti describes.

Continuing, “But then, you’re attaching all these attributes to that feeling like, ‘This is meant to be. This is love at first sight. This is something inexplicable. It felt electric, and therefore, it must be love.”

But that isn’t necessarily the case. Psychologist Jenny Taitz, PhD, author of How to Be Single and Happy, said of love at first sight, 

“Just because someone is really good-looking doesn’t mean that you know that much about them,” Taitz says.

“You can run the risk of convincing yourself that they’re right for you based on your emotions rather than logic.”

Her recommendation, slow d own.

“Attraction is important, but the things that lead to long-standing relationships are kindness and shared values. You’re not going to know those things until further down the line,” she says.

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