Situations Made Worse By Booze

April 17, 2019  |  
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drinking alcohol

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I’ve certainly made the mistake many times in my life to believe that alcohol was just the thing to soothe a situation. Typically, I associate alcohol with things that make me feel happier, calmer, and more confident. So, it’s only normal that, in times when I’ve felt sad, angry, or anxious, I figured that alcohol would be just the ticket to make things better. But the reality is that alcohol tends to only heighten whatever feeling you were already having. And, that can obviously be a problem when that feeling is negative. Alcohol also has a way of ruining our filters and removing inhibitions perhaps not for the better. When deciding whether or not to grab a drink, here are situations only made worse by alcohol.

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Breaking up

It is only natural to feel very nervous before breaking up with someone. My nerves go crazy when I have to break the news to someone that it’s over. I am worried they are going to flip out or say nasty things (as men are prone to do during breakups). So I have had a couple glasses of wine before having the break up talk.

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Why it doesn’t work

You know what happened when I drank before breaking up with someone? We did not break up. I got so emotional in response to his emotions. I became so weak that I couldn’t deny his request for a second chance. I couldn’t clearly remember the speech I had planned for the break up.

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Not getting the job

Getting rejected from a job or looked over for a promotion or opportunity is always very disappointing. You work so hard for those opportunities, and when there is one on the horizon, emotions are high and hopes are even higher. When you don’t get it, the frustration and sadness can be too much to handle sober. So you drink.

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Why it doesn’t work

The moment you start sipping some cocktails after that disappointment, you just go down the rabbit hole of looking up the person who got what you wanted. Or are you start frantically sending messages to those in charge, asking them what you did wrong, or asking how you could possibly get a second chance. It’s a mess. Don’t mix alcohol with career despair.

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Family dinners

I’ll admit that dinners with my family can feel a little tense. The history there is complicated. There are a lot of different viewpoints on fundamental things in life. The chances for arguments are everywhere. So I’ve thought why don’t I just drink half a bottle of wine—it will put me in a good mood and I will let everything roll off my back.

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Why it doesn’t work

Remember how alcohol removes your filters? I drank so that I would be in a good mood and not be triggered. Instead, I was the one who started the fights. I couldn’t stop myself from saying everything on my mind. If there was an argument to have, I took it.

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Funerals

Funerals are very complex. While they are obviously quite sad, they also trigger a gathering of loved ones. Or not so loved ones. You can’t always decide who shows up at a funeral. You may want to numb the pain with alcohol, or you may feel like you want to celebrate the life of the deceased with alcohol.

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Why it doesn’t work

Remember how I said you can’t determine who will show up at a funeral? All are welcome, so long as they knew the deceased. That means someone you hate deeply may show up at this funeral. You don’t exactly want to be drunk when someone you hate shows up. And that happens very often at funerals.

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Mid-relationship fight

We have all gotten to that point in our relationship fight when we are just so over fighting. The ups and downs have us exhausted. We want alcohol the same way we want it after a long and trying day. We are just tired. So you guzzle a few cocktails while arguing with your significant other.

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Why it doesn’t work

You don’t have to tell your partner literally everything on your mind. It’s especially important to have a filter when emotions are running high and you may say things you don’t mean. We all know alcohol is very good at making us say things we don’t mean. In other words, it makes fights so much worse, as we bring up issues and pile on problems that weren’t even the topic of discussion in the first place.

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Subverting jealousy

Feeling a little jealous? Maybe your partner is on a business trip with that female colleague who you know flirts with him. You can’t stop thinking about it. So you decide to have some drinks to take your mind off it.

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Why it doesn’t work

You only wind up obsessing more about the thing you were trying to ignore after drinking alcohol. You start stalking that female colleague on social media. You start sending your partner nasty messages about that colleague. Now, more than you are jealous, you are insecure about your own behavior.

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First date nerves

First date nerves are always hard to deal with. You want to be yourself. You want to be relaxed so that your true self can come through. You decide that some cocktails will ease all of those concerns and worries, and just let you be loose.

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Why it doesn’t work

First dates are highly emotional situations, but we usually don’t realize how high our emotions are running until we start drinking alcohol. Then, before we know it, we are sharing sob stories about our past relationships or our family that we really did not mean to tell a stranger. Then we are apologizing for his behavior. It is all a sloppy disaster.

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Keep it to celebrations

Since alcohol has a way of intensifying what you are already feeling, it’s best for a celebratory moment. Have rose all day with your girls on a vacation. Have a toast after a promotion. Get a little too tipsy with your boyfriend when you are getting along. But don’t drink alcohol to get rid of a feeling you don’t want to have. You will only feel it stronger.

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