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There are so many factors that go into compatibility, and even more variables that determine if your marriage will last.  Even though the breaking moment differs from couple to couple, there are some common relationship issues that lead to a happily never after. Romper spoke to divorce attorney Christy Zlatkus about five ways a marriage can go from “I do” to divorce court real quick.

If Time With Your Partner Doesn’t Come First, You’re In Trouble

“Make time for your spouse, or someone else will,” Zlatkus told Romper. Yea our daily routines and careers can get in the way of putting our significant other’s needs first, but do you really want to lose your loved one over bad time management? Especially if your family is what you are working for to begin with.

Treating Your Spouse Like A Kid

It can be a little too easy to baby or patronize your partner–don’t do that.

“Adults want — and deserve — to be treated as such,”  Zlatkus explained.  “Pro tip: If you wouldn’t use that tone of voice with a colleague, don’t use it with your spouse.” Most adults want to feel like they have equal say in the relationship.

Not Listening

People have a tendency to speak more than they listen, that can have your loved one feeling unheard and unacknowledged.

“Are you just hearing them, or really paying attention and engaging with your spouse when they talk to you?” Zlatkus asks. “Little details about their day, their schedule, their goals, their wants — the little things make up the bulk of who we are.”

Ask them about their day, and actually take the time and listen and ask questions.

Don’t Take Your Partner For Granted 

We may take things like having our spouse cook or do house chores for granted, but that’s a sure fire way to lose your mate.

“Assuming your spouse is on the ball can translate to them feeling taken for granted,” Zlatkus explains. Make sure you take the time to say “thank you” or treat them to a night out on the town (or a gift, if that’s their love language).

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