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high school sweethearts meet again

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UPDATED: Jan. 28, 2021 —

Everyone enjoys the thought of being happy and in love. We see couples in love every day on TV and in the movies—how can we not want that for ourselves? But, if we’re truly being honest, entering a new relationship has its fair share of challenges. You might ask yourself “will they like my personality?”, “will they laugh at my jokes?” and more importantly, “will I feel safe around them?” Putting yourself out there to meet someone is another challenge that many aren’t willing to do, which is why many find themselves dating an ex.

“To be in a relationship, you have to put yourself out there,” says Dana Childs, an intuitive and energy healer who offers energy healing consultations and couples consultations. “You have to get on dating apps, let your friends know you’re open to dating and be willing to take chances on people you may initially overlook or dismiss.” And that takes major guts.

That’s why many opt to re-enter an old relationship with an old boyfriend or girlfriend, regardless of how insane it may sound. If you’ve had those thoughts and are contemplating jump-starting an old flame, we can help.

Here are some reasons to reconnect with your high school sweetheart:

1. You want to recapture (or revert back to) your youth

Sometimes, reconnecting with a high school ex is a part of a mid-life (or early mid-life) crisis. Fear of getting older can make us want to do things that make us feel as if we’re going back in time. There’s nothing quite like getting back with a high school fling to help you feel like you’re immortal.

When life is overwhelming, people want to go back to a simpler time, like when they lived under their parents’ roof and only worried about passing biology class. Dating a high school sweetheart can be a nice escape when growing up feels overwhelming.

2. Your bond is pure

Sometimes, high school sweethearts get back together because they’re able to find a pure bond they’ve been searching for. Previous relationships have been built on something superficial, like money or social status. But that’s just not a part of your bond with a high school fling. It’s innocent and stripped of facades.

3. You’ve learned how to be a better partner

Many people never quite got over their high school sweetheart, but had to learn how to be a good partner and nurture a stable relationship. And, now they’d like to give it another go with their old flame, using the skills they’ve learned to be successful.

“My husband is my best friend, and if we didn’t spend that time being friends first we would not be where we are today,” says Morgan Thomas, who dated her husband while in high school in 2005, and eventually married in 2017. “I can truly say that I am able to be my best self and vulnerable because of the length of time we spent and the opportunity to grow together.”

The couple broke up their senior year of high school and rekindled their love in January of 2008 when she came home from college during Christmas break. “During our break, I learned exactly what I wanted in a relationship,” says Thomas. “It was important for us to take a break since we were each other’s everything and never dated anyone else. The break allowed us to be free and let fate decide if we should really be together.”

4. You experienced a hometown tragedy

Sometimes, a hometown tragedy brings high school sweethearts geographically back to the same place, and then their intense feelings around wanting to protect and salvage what’s left of their happy childhood memories drive them to hook up. But, relationships built on tragedy rarely last. So be smart about your decision.

5. You crave community and shared values

People who deeply crave a sense of community—perhaps those who’ve struggled to make friends or build a network—may go back to a high school flame. There is an entire built-in community there. The families know each other. There are mutual friends. It feels like an insta-network.

Some people who come from the same city or small town may also find that no other place in the world seems to share the values they grew up with. And that is very appealing.

6. The teen thrill is still there

For some reason, your high school sweetheart will always see you the way you were as a teen. So, no matter what you’ve done since then—perhaps you’ve done terrible things or built up a bad reputation—they still see through it.

That old exciting feeling will maybe never die—there’s nothing like the giddiness of your first love. Some people feel that still with an old high school flame. But, they’ll need real compatibility and relationship skills to make it last.

7. You need to prove something

If your high school sweetheart broke your heart in a way that traumatized you, you may want to prove something by getting him back. It’s juvenile and probably unhealthy, but it happens.

8. You have a fundamental bond

Sometimes, a union between high school sweethearts is about as good as it gets. If they really have grown and learned how to be good partners, perhaps they can recapture that innocent connection they had. They really see each other for who they are at their cores and they aren’t willing to let it go.

“Dating in high school allowed us to create a strong foundation that pushes us not to give up on each other,” says Thomas. “One thing we are consistently learning and working on is communication but because we refuse to give up on each other we are willing to evolve and reflect.”

 

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