Silly Lies You Stop Believing Once You Find The One

March 12, 2019  |  
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lies relationship advice

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It’s amazing how clear the past becomes when you find your person. It’s like they say—hindsight is always 20/20. If you are someone who is blissfully enjoying life with the person who is so undeniably your person, then you probably look back at some of your previous relationships and hold your hand over your face in embarrassment. You can’t believe that you put up with all of that BS. You can’t believe the mistreatment you tolerated and justified. You can’t believe how long you stayed with selfish men, or how blindly you believed the lies of dishonest men. You were settling for, let’s say, 60 percent of what you deserve because you hadn’t ever experienced 100 percent, so you had nothing to compare it to. But now that you have that 100 percent—or maybe it feels like 120!—you see how crappy past relationships were. Here are silly lies you stop believing once you find the one

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“I’m not a relationship person”

So, here’s the thing: most people say this about themselves at some point. Then most people go onto realize that everyone is a relationship person when they find the right person. Those men who told you that they “weren’t relationship material” just…weren’t right for you.

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“I’m focused on my career right now”

It’s great to be focused on one’s career, but now you know there’s no such thing as being too focused on one’s career to fall in love. Falling in love happens to someone. There were men in the past who wouldn’t get serious with you due to their “busy careers.” Meanwhile, your perfect person today makes time for you even though he’s also career-oriented.

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“I like to weigh my options”

Then there were those slimy players who wouldn’t commit to you, or would only see you a few times a month, because they were weighing their options. They posed it to you as if it were perfectly normal, and as if you were the weird one for not doing the exact same thing. Now you know—based on how your man treats you today—you don’t want to be an option. You want to be the only option to someone.

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“I’m not over my ex”

It does take time to get ever an ex—yes. That’s true and it’s an important process. But you know what else is true? If you find someone who is just right for you, it’s amazing how the ex factor just…disappears. It did for your current partner—your perfect person—and it did for you.

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“I want to be free to travel”

Ah yes—the free spirit who couldn’t be tied down by the confines of a relationship. This guy said he wanted to travel the world and not be stuck in one place, due to love. Of course, now you know (because you have your person) that when you find your person A) That love is more exciting and fulfilling than any exotic location and B )Um, you can just travel together—duh.

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“I’m too busy to spend more time with you”

You used to be so patient and understanding with the “too busy” guy. Now, you see that your man will bend over backwards to see you, even when he has almost no free time. That’s just what you do when you love someone.

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“I’m too tired to spend more time with you”

You were also endlessly forgiving of Mr. “Too tired.” And now, your perfect partner will drive to your place at 10pm, after a super long day at work, to just spend 30 minutes with you and fall asleep next to you.

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“Your friends are your friends”

You had that one selfish boyfriend (or maybe a few) who didn’t put in much face time with your friends. They said, “Hey—they’re your friends. You spend time with them and I’ll spend time with my friends.” You didn’t argue, but now you see that your life partner will want to integrate himself into, well, your life. Your perfect man wants to know your friends.

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“It’s too soon to travel together”

You pitched a vacation to some of your earlier boyfriends after a few months of dating. They said it was too soon to travel together. You wanted to be “reasonable” so you agreed and accepted it. Then, you met your perfect partner, who would enthusiastically plan a trip with you a few months into dating. You both just knew it’d be a blast.

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“It’s too soon to move in together”

There is such thing as moving in together too soon. However, if you’ve been dating for a while—let’s say over a year—and you’re not on the same page about when it’s time to move in, that’s a problem. You realize now that one person shouldn’t be itching to move in while the other is far from it.

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“It’s too soon to meet the family”

Again, you didn’t want to “pressure” your past boyfriends, so when they resisted meeting your family, saying it was “too soon,” you didn’t argue. Now you see they just weren’t invested in the relationship. Your current partner was very excited and honored to meet your family.

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“I just like a lot of alone time”

Alone time is great. Alone time is even important. But, you feel kind of silly now, looking back at those boyfriends who needed alone time…five out of seven nights of the week. When you’re with the right person, you just want to be together.

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“I don’t like talking at the end of the day”

Remember those grumpy dudes you dated who didn’t want to talk at the end of the day? You’d be eager to share your day with them, and they’d say they just wanted to watch TV and have a beer. You felt bad for bothering them. Now you’re with a man who wants to know about your day and who wants to tell you about his.

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“I’m not good with the phone”

Some men are more naturally into texting and calling than others, but you now know that when a man is really invested in you, he becomes magically great at the phone. He just wants to hear your voice.

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“I don’t believe in monogamy”

Riiiight. The guys who didn’t “believe” in monogamy as if it’s the Easter Bunny or the Boogie Man. It’s funny how most of those guys are married now.

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