Why Valentine’s Day Is The Perfect Opportunity To Fall In Love With Yourself All Over Again

February 14, 2019  |  

Portrait of cheerful woman against gray background

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It’s here, the annual day when mainstream media and retailers across the country cash in (literally and figuratively) on love. The sentiment behind Valentine’s Day is an admirable one; however, the holiday has increasingly become less about celebrating love in all forms, and more about focusing only on the love that exists between two people in a relationship. The thing is there are various types of relationships that don’t fit within the traditional confines of Valentine’s Day but deserve just as much attention —and one of the most important of them is the one you have with yourself.

Self-love is a very simple concept on the surface, but carrying it out can be one of the most difficult things to do. There are many reasons many of us struggle with loving ourselves as much as we love others. There’s constantly being made to feel like you’re not enough, thanks in large part to the marketing of antiquated and recycled standards of beauty; past relationships that may have left you feeling broken; and not taking the time to truly get to know (and appreciate) who you are.

So, instead of gushing over the annual Valentine’s Day rituals this year, challenge yourself to fall in love with yourself all over again — or perhaps for the first time ever. To begin, write down a list of every, single thing you love about yourself, even if it takes you awhile, do it. Once you’ve written down those things, recite them out loud repeatedly while looking at yourself in the mirror. The point of this is to truly absorb the wonderful things about you and literally face them head on. Just as some people have a hard time taking a compliment, others have an even harder time acknowledging things about themselves that are special, so use this exercise as a way to remind yourself that it’s okay to celebrate your positive attributes and sing your own praises.

Next, think of all of the ways you like to treat yourself. That could be small things like a bubble bath with your favorite candles and music playing or something bigger like a quick getaway or staycation. Treat yourself to multiple things this Valentine’s Day before you bestow gifts on anyone else. As Black women, we generally put everyone in our lives ahead of ourselves, but that pattern of behavior is unhealthy. It’s okay to place yourself first on your list without feeling guilty about it and there’s no better time to start than now.

To be clear, using Valentine’s Day as a means to fall in love with yourself again, isn’t just for single women, it’s for all women because self-love is something that should be practiced every day no matter your relationship status. So, whether you’re boo’d up on V-Day or celebrating Galentine’s Day instead, take some time out to give yourself as much love as you can stand.

You are a Queen. You are Deserving. You are Loved. And you don’t need Valentine’s Day to remember that.


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