Why Having Single Friends When You’re Married Is So Important
Even though I’ve been in a relationship for quite some time, I still make sure to spend plenty of time with my single girlfriends. I seriously have some of my best times with them. There’s an energy about single people—maybe it comes from seeking “the one.” Maybe it comes from having nobody to answer to at the end of the day or coordinate schedules with. I just think un-attached women have this wonderful buzz about them. I want to soak it up. I love my boyfriend, and our settled—admittedly quiet—life together. I love our routines, our go-to restaurants, and the wonderful support system we’ve built with each other. But I refuse to be someone who only hangs out with other couples. I think I’d be doing myself a huge disservice, and so would you. Here is why if you’re married or in a serious relationship, your single friends are so important.
The stories are great
The stories alone are just so entertaining. What happened with the guy they hooked up with at the zoo? What’s going on with that dude who lives out of town but visits once a month? What’s up on Tinder? Single friends have the best stories.
They’ll break you out of routine
You fall into a routine (perhaps a rut) when you’ve been in a relationship for a while. But single people like trying new things. They’re always getting tickets to some quirky event or buying a Groupon for some interesting class. They’ll invite you, and keep you from having a totally predictable life.
You can provide insight
Your single friends need you, too. You’ve gathered some insight in your many years of monogamy. You can see, pretty clearly, when things will or won’t work out with them and a dude. You can coach them through it all.
They can energize you
When you hear about the fun, adventurous dates your single friend is going on, you’ll feel motivated to do more things like that with your partner. You’ll want to skip the regular old Netflix and delivery night and check out this cool spot your single friend told you about.
You’re also grateful for your life now
You will also feel at times extra grateful to be out of the dating game after talking to your single friend. She’s having fun out there, but man is it a roller coaster—a roller coaster you’re glad to be off.
They remind you how fun self-care is
You can sort of stop splurging on yourself when you’ve been in a relationship for a long time. But single friends want to go to the spa for a facial and go to the salon for manicures. They’ll remind you to treat yourself. And there are a lot of benefits of that.
They prevent codependency
Having single friends will keep you from sliding into a super codependent relationship with your partner. If you only have couple friends, then a lot of your social time involves double dating aka you’re always with your man. Hanging with a single friend gives you some important time away from your boo.
They help you stay with the times
It’s easy to fall out of touch with what’s going on in the world when you’ve been in a relationship. New lingo, new cultural trends, new social norms—your single friends will keep you up to date on these so you don’t embarrass yourself.
That friendship is pure
You know your friendship with your single friend is pure. Sometimes, when you’re in a long-term relationship, a lot of your friendships rely on a couples’ dynamic. If you and your man both like another couple, you’re friends. But there must be that double dating element for it to work. Your friendship with your single friend is pure—it’s just about your connection with her.
Abandoning them would be messed up
Not only do you get plenty of wonderful perks by staying close to your single friends, but it would also be messed up if you ditched them, all because they don’t have a boo for you to double date with. They were there for you when you were single.
The other friends will have kids
Also, don’t forget that, while your couples friends are around now, they are probably moving towards having children. That means they’re going to get even busier. Your single friends tend to have more free time to socialize.
Scheduling is easy
Scheduling double dates is such a hassle. Every time you try to do that with another couple, you’re looking at doing something four months out. But when you plan with your single girlfriend, it’s just you and her—just two schedules.
They keep you young
Your single friends keep you young. They just tend to have a more dynamic life, more adventures, more stories, and more vivacity than your coupled up buddies. Your coupled up friends are great, but they’ll turn you into an old lady fast.
Single bars= confidence boost
Your single friend will take you to single bars to be her wing woman. Going to single bars can be a fun confidence boost if you’re in a long-term relationship. Guys will flirt with you, and then you’ll go home to your man, all excited and turned on.
They’ll tell you if you’re boring
Your single friend will be honest with you and tell you if you’re turning into a boring, rigid, and overall difficult-to-handle individual—which can happen if you spend all your time with your romantic partner.