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Ever since she and husband Dwyane Wade announced that they welcomed their daughter Kaavia via surrogate on social media late last year, Gabrielle Union has shared just about every aspect of her journey as a new mom with fans and followers on Instagram. But with opening up your life to the public, as a public figure, comes critics, and Union has had all kinds. There are those who’ve told her that she needs to change the way she dresses to those who’ve instructed her against kissing her baby girl on the lips. Still, Union won’t be moved by what others have to say.

“I had to hit the mommy shamers day one,” she shared with PEOPLE while promoting her spring New York & Company line. “I’m going to do it my way. I’m sure I’m going to make all kinds of mistakes and when I ask for help, which I will, I would love to hear all y’all’s advice. Everybody has been on my journey of pain and anguish and trauma, and I owe it to myself to enjoy every second of my joy.”

Those who can’t support that joy are, according to the 46-year-old star, more than welcome to stop following her, especially if they can’t keep every thought they have (particularly the judgmental ones) to themselves.

“If you’ve been rocking with me, in my misery and my pain and my failures, I want you to enjoy my joys,” she said. “If you can’t just sit back and enjoy the miracles without offering every piece of advice Nana ever gave you, it’s okay to unfollow. It’s okay to just enjoy the ride.”

Union said she’s earned the right to do things as she sees fit, whether people approve of it or not. So enjoy the baby photos, the public displays of affection with her husband, the fashion and the fun, or as the star says, feel free to get lost.

“I want to be able to make whatever choice I want to make and not have to answer to anybody but me,” she said. “As long as I feel good, as long as I feel confident, screw you.”

“Look in the mirror and fix your own life,” Union added. “[I want to] give people that example of somebody who refuses to let anyone dictate what the hell I do or don’t do or say or don’t say.”

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