There are some people who completely pass out post-sex, and others stay up, cuddle up and engage in some pillow talk. But not all conversations are post-coital appropriate.
Cosmopolitan spoke to relationship and sex therapist Eliza Boquin, founder of The Flow & Ease Healing Center, about why we should be choosy about the topics we explore after lovemaking.
“We’re never more vulnerable than during sex, which includes immediately before and after,” She said.
“This is why we want to avoid certain topics that can either result in our partner’s shutting down emotionally, or giving us less-than-sincere answers.”
Here are some topics the outlet suggests avoiding after you’ve knocked the boots:
Okay, so maybe your partner came a little too fast or the foreplay needs a little work–all good. You should definitely let your partner know what you need in bed, but right after sex may be too sensitive a time to broach the conversation. Most likely you will just make them feel bad or insecure, versus them being open and prepared for feedback.
The last thing you want is for your partner to feel self conscious about their body after giving it all to you. “They’ve just shared a deeply intimate moment with you, and doing anything other than expressing admiration and appreciation for their body is not okay,” says Boquin.
Defining The Relationship
These moments aren’t a good time to poise the whole “so what are we?” question. Not only is it slightly manipulative because your partner is vulnerable, it also may not work in your favor because they aren’t as prone to tell the truth in these moments. Wait until you both are “sex glow sober” before asking this.
Past Sex Partners
Asking your partner about their sexual health history before sex is really smart. But asking right after sex may come off a little strange. Of course, you can bring this topic up at any time in your sexual relationship with someone, but right after sex may not be the prime time for this discussion.