Mrs. Noire: 5 Things You’ll Learn About Your Spouse In A Crisis

January 16, 2019  |  

I can't believe we're fighting about this again...

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When you get married you vow to stick together for better or worse. But what happens when you and your new spouse get hit with the worse?

People invest a lot in the idea of Happily Ever After once they get hitched. However, the reality is that you and your spouse will face a number of different problems throughout your lives together. Whether it’s an illness, money issues, or disagreeing on major life choices, trouble can come in many forms. While no one looks forward to struggling, struggles are teachable moments that show not only what you’re made of, but also your spouse. Here are five key things you will learn about the person you married when sh-t hits the fan.

How Committed Are They?
Sadly, many marriages fail the test of crisis, so one of the things that facing serious problems together will teach you is how committed your husband or wife is to your marriage under the worst circumstances. It’s easy to be in love when everything is going great. That love is put to the test in times of trouble. Going through a crisis will show you how determined your spouse is to protect you and stand by you in rough times.

What Do They Need From You?
When you’re married, you’re part of a team. This seems like a no-brainer, but a lot of people forget that they are responsible for putting in work in a marriage. Your spouse probably can’t find their way out of a crisis on their own. Being in the midst of chaos will show you what it is they need from you in order for the both of you to come out of the fray in good standing.

How Do They Prioritize Problem Solving?
When things go wrong, it is rarely one thing at a time. In a crisis, you will often find yourself having to juggle problems to tackle. This is an opportunity for you to see which problems they decide to tackle first and why. Are they going after the small problems first because they’re easier to handle, or are they focusing on the bigger issues and leaving smaller for cleanup later?

What’s Their Mindset In A Mess?
Your mindset can determine a lot when you’re trying to stay afloat. It can be the difference that determines how long it takes you to recover. Does your spouse wallow in self-pity or do they leap into action? Do they need a moment to process what is going on or are they shell-shocked? That’s something you may only find out when things get really bad.

How Do You Work As A Team?
There are certain strengths that everyone brings to a relationship, and you’ll need each of them when trouble comes your way. The question is, are you going to be able to use those strengths cooperatively? If your spouse always has to be the leader and they always have to be in charge, this could add to your problems when you don’t have time to soothe their ego. It may be up to you to drive home the point that you and your spouse must be on equal footing. Or, you might need to be the one to get out of your own way and let your partner use their strengths to save you both.

No matter what you find out about your spouse in a struggle, it’s up to you to determine how you respond to all of it. They have to do their part, of course, but you have to choose how you’ll handle it. If you manage it well, your marriage will be the better and stronger for it.

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