Couple Tasks That Always Start A Fight
My boyfriend and I have this running joke in which he asks if I want to cook something together and I respond, “Sure. Getting in a fight sounds nice.” We really cannot make a meal together with getting into an argument. We start out so excited at the idea of finding and creating some delicious recipe, but by the time we sit down to eat it, we do so silently and angrily. Somebody in the kitchen was too bossy. Both people believe it was the other person. One individual pushed for this type of pasta when the other insisted this other type doesn’t get as mushy. We each feel that the other is taking up too much counter space. I don’t know why we get like this. Does every couple get like this? When other couples talk about making dinner together, it’s sounds fun and sexy. Not for us! But I suppose there are just some tasks that always spark a relationship fight.
By the time you’ve assembled that rocking chair, you’re ready to throw it over the balcony and smash it. Nobody can agree on which L-shaped plastic thing corresponds with Part A in the instructions and somebody keeps misplacing the screwdriver. You may wind up with a constructed chair but you hate that chair.
Hosting a dinner party
If a couple has you over for dinner and seems really chipper when you get there, just know it’s all an act. They argued over the fact that one person didn’t get home until 6pm when he said he’d be home at 5 to start helping cook. The other person forgot the gluten-free bread for that one guest even though her partner reminded her many times.
Hosting overnight guests
Hosting long-term guests can be even worse. Each person within the couple feels as if he or she is putting in the most work. Each person feels as if he or she is putting his or her life on hold to play host/tour guide while the other person seems to be acting as if there aren’t even houseguests!
Booking a flight
Booking a flight should be fun. But it’s not when one person wants to book the 3pm flight to avoid evening traffic to the airport, and that means the other person would have to take a half-day at work—which he’s done too often recently. The possibilities for conflict here are endless.
Couples probably just shouldn’t grocery shop together. Something happens when a couple goes into a grocery store. As far as I can tell, my boyfriend is instantly sucked into another dimension (because I can’t find him anywhere after searching every isle) where his phone doesn’t work. We go in saying “We’ll leave in 20 minutes” and leave an hour later.
Finding a parking spot
Everybody has an opinion on where to park. Neither person within a relationship has the same opinion. Somehow, around the world, pairs of individuals have found each other, built a life together, but stand on different sides of the argument: where to park in this neighborhood.
A yard sale
There’s often one person who has a hard time letting things go and another who is ready to rid the house of everything. Then arguments about one person not being sentimental enough come up, or about the other person spending too much money.
Each person within a relationship always feels that they do all the work when it comes to pet care. One person gets stuck with all the late night walks because the other goes to bed early. One person gets stuck taking the dog to training because she works freelance and technically can do this mid-week but doesn’t necessarily want to.
If you have tandem parking spots or a driveway with a design that means nobody can leave at their own free will, you’ll fight about this regularly. One person needs to rush out the door but the other person is parking her in. That person is in the shower, and can’t exactly move a car right now. But she told that person to park on the street last night to avoid this exact possible scenario. Ugh.
Creating a guest list
Creating a guest list—whether it’s for a small dinner party or the big yearly ski trip—always sparks a fight. You both love a lot of different friends, but not all of those friends get along. Curating a guest list that makes you both 100 percent happy is impossible. Especially if your friends’ partners and your partner don’t get along.
If your partner ever, even once, dropped you off at work at 6am at the airport and you don’t want to do the same for him now, you better believe there will be an argument. It doesn’t matter that your partner is naturally an early bird and you’re a night owl who never goes to sleep before 2am.
Working in the TV room
If you have one entertainment room that doubles as an office, you’ll have some regular disputes over this. One person wants to get work done in there, but another wants to watch a new episode of his favorite show. The one wanting to work doesn’t want to be banished to the bedroom—the lighting is terrible in there.
Assembling an air conditioner
Considering how angry one individual will become trying to assemble an air conditioner, you can only image the wars that break out when two people do this. And, naturally, couples wait to do this until it’s already 100 degrees in their home and they’re irritable from the heat.
Waiting for a service professional
Service professionals who set up your Internet or fix your toilet will always give you some obnoxious timeframe—like 10am to 4pm. That means one of you has to just sit at home during that time. Who will it be? You’ll be in a fight before that’s determined.
With some chores, you get even messier before you get tidy. Doing laundry, for example, means there are giant piles of clean laundry on every surface of your apartment because you can’t fold them and put them away at the same rate they’re coming out of the dryer. If your partner comes home in the middle of this, he’ll accuse you of making a mess when you’re trying to do something nice.