“I Was Ashamed”: Kid Cudi Opens Up About Why He Kept His Depression From Loved Ones On “Red Table Talk”
Kid Cudi is again taking a moment to talk about his battle with depression, one that he says he kept hidden from those close to him.
On the next episode of Red Table Talk, Jada Pinkett Smith, her mother Adrienne Banfield-Jones and daughter Willow, will sit down with the Kids See Ghost rapper to talk about depression and mental health.
People posted an exclusive clip of the discussion where the rapper talks about why he struggled with revealing his depression to his family and friends.
“I was really good at keeping my troubles hidden, even from my friends,” he said. “I really was good with that. And it’s scary because you hear people say, ‘I had no clue.’”
The 34-year-old rapper whose real name is Scott Mescudi, said that he made sure not to blame his close circle for living in obscurity about his pain.
“Sometimes, I let them know that it’s not their fault. It was me,” he said. “I really went out of my way to keep what I was going through hidden because I was ashamed.”
In 2016 Cudi used his Facebook page to announce that he was seeking rehab for his depression and suicidal urges.
“I am not at peace. I haven’t been since you’ve known me. If I didn’t come here, I wouldve done something to myself. I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life,” he wrote. “Theres a ragin violent storm inside of my heart at all times. Idk what peace feels like. Idk how to relax. My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it. I cant make new friends because of it. I dont trust anyone because of it and Im tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace. I deserve to be happy and smiling. Why not me?” he continued.
Since leaving rehab he’s openly advocated for mental health and works on maintaining a sense of peace by using his creative talents.
“I’m just creating a lot, with more love in my heart for what I’m doing and for myself, ” he said in a June 2018 interview with Billboard. “Living a healthy life, keeping my family around and staying on a mission, which is making music that means something.”