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Despite the dark shadow of patriarchy and the murky relationship waters between Black men and Black women, we still fight to love each other. Black love at its purest and healthiest stands as a front against a system that never wanted us to love ourselves, let alone each other. I believe it is in this spirit that #BlackLove documentaries, TV shows and hashtags have filled our screens, triumphantly. Black love in all its glory and sometimes pain is revolutionary in this current social climate–and both men and women are getting very vocal on how to make it work or work to show images that highlight its beauty when it does work.

I am an advocate for Black love when its fruits are mostly productive and positive. I’m not here for “staying with Black men” just because they are Black if they don’t treat you with the fullness of love, respect and dignity that is your God given right. Even though my whole being lives inside the possibility of this love, I still have one toe out the window in case I need to jump ship. #BlackLove ain’t love at all if I have to sacrifice my mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional well being to be partnered. And yes, I understand women can be perpetrators as well as victims in the story of our relationships, but when I look at statistics that read that almost half of all homicide victims are Black women at the hands of their own partners, I tend to naturally become more concerned with the safety and well being of my own sex and gender.

With all that being said, I am still rooting for Black men with all of me. I want to marry a Black man and give birth to a Black man and support Black men. There have been pockets of Black men popping up all over the internet who are also champions of this cause, and this viral thread is evidence of this forward progression.

Twitter user Pierre Savage Hunter asked a simple question: “Dear Black women, how can we love you better?” And the responses went viral.

Here’s what women had to say:

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