The blended family has become so common that it almost doesn’t need its own special name anymore—it’s basically the new normal family. Considering how many couples get divorced, and how many of them have children, it should come as no surprise that very often, two divorced individuals with kids find each other, fall in love, and proceed with a second marriage. This can be, of course, tumultuous and very emotional for the children. They were just accepting the idea of their parents no longer being together (and perhaps they don’t accept it yet), and now they need to embrace a new authority figure, new siblings, and several new dynamics taking their parent’s attention away from them. Blended families are not what “The Brady Bunch” makes them appear to be. In reality, wounds take much longer to heal and the cleanup can be messy. Here are important tips to keeping your kids happy in a blended family.
Mandates should come from you (at first)
Your kids are used to taking direction from you—not your once-boyfriend-now-husband. They won’t take kindly to a new authority figure quickly, and it’s good if they slowly transition from seeing your partner as a buddy to a parent. So, if your partner has a mandate he’d like to pass onto the kids, have him pass it along to them through you. At least at first.