Couples Who Refer To Themselves As “We” Are Reportedly In Healthier Relationships

October 15, 2018  |  


You can tell a lot about a couple by the way their body language compliments one another, the way they respond to each other’s needs, and the way they describe themselves when speaking to anyone outside of their relationship.

Some people may view couples who use the pronoun “we” when referring to their significant other as being too co-dependent and clingy (or nauseating), but according to social scientists, using this language could be an indication of a healthy relationship.

A study by researchers at University of California, Riverside, discovered that “we-talk,” a term they coined for the research, is correlated with happier and more stable relationships, The Guardian reports. 

The report, titled “Meta-Analytic Evidence that We-Talk Predicts Relationship and Personal Functioning in Romantic Couples,” followed 5,000 participants and analyzed their use of “we.”

“We-talk is an indicator of interdependence and general positivity in romantic relationships,” Alexander Karan, a graduate student and first author of the research paper revealed, according to Psychology Today.

Megan Robbins along with her OBSERVE colleagues concluded that “interdependence may bring about supportive and relationship-centered behaviors and positive perceptions of the partner — especially important in times of stress and conflict.”

Now, is it that couples who use “we” are already in healthy relationships, or does the frequent use of “we” elicit feelings of support, partnership and stability?

“It is likely both,” Robbins explained.

“Hearing yourself or a partner say these words could shift individuals’ ways of thinking to be more interdependent, which could lead to a healthier relationship. However, it could also be the case that because the relationship is healthy and interdependent, the partners are being supportive and use we-talk.”

It definitely wouldn’t hurt to start included “we” in your daily conversations with your partner, even if at first it comes off nauseating, but if the language makes the individuals feel more harmonious in their partnership, it’s definitely worth a behavioral change.

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