Melyssa Ford Discusses Battle With ‘Crushing, Malignant Depression’

September 23, 2018  |  

melyssa ford depression

Photo by Paul Archuleta/FilmMagic

Ever since her tragic car accident that left her with severe head trauma, Melyssa Ford feels like she doesn’t know who she is anymore. She vented via Instagram and said her battle with depression has worsened since her accident. She said she always struggled with the diagnosis, but after the accident her symptoms worsened.

“I’m battling Depression. Crushing, malignant Depression,” she wrote. “It was always there; it’s just been made a little worse because of the head trauma from the crash. There are days where simple tasks takes the effort of 40 men; mornings where I’m unhappy to wake and see the sun because it’s another day spent listlessly looking for solid meaning in life. The guilt I feel at having survived and not feeling constant gratitude is a heavy weight to [bare].”

The former hip-hop model said seeking help is not as easy as it seems.

“Trying to seek help feels like drowning in a strong current with a lifeline swinging right above your head.”

Back in July, Ford was involved in a car accident with an 18-wheeler truck. The collision caused her Jeep to flip over multiple times, leaving her with a concussion, bleeding from the brain, fractured skull and a 10-inch wound. Since the accident, the 41-year-old has also had memory loss as a result of her head trauma.

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I’m battling Depression. Crushing, malignant Depression. It was always there; it’s just been made a little worse because of the head trauma from the crash. There are days where simple tasks takes the effort of 40 men; mornings where I’m unhappy to wake and see the sun because it’s another day spent listlessly looking for solid meaning in life. The guilt I feel at having survived and not feeling constant gratitude is a heavy weight to bear. I’m trying to jump back into my life but it feels like there are two Me’s: Before and After the crash. And I barely know who Before Me is anymore. Trying to seek help feels like drowning in a strong current with a lifeline swinging right above your head. I say all this to say check in with your ‘strongest friend’… no one ever does.

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