Dumb Excuses Not To Get A Prenup
Nobody wants to talk about prenuptial agreements. For some, simply touching on the subject—just alluding to it—feels like bad luck. The mere discussion of a prenup feels like you’re welcoming in divorce. If you’re already someone who is frightened by divorce statistics (you shouldn’t be, by the way), then you don’t want to test your luck. There’s also the simple fact that prenups often come up during the most romantic time in our lives: during an engagement! Planning for the worst-case scenario while also writing your vows feels unnatural. But we don’t have to look at prenups as doomsday things. You can just see them as a part of the overall process of planning for all the things the future may bring. You have life insurance policies, but you hope not to die, right? It’s just better to have one than not…Here are dumb excuses people give not to get prenups.
We won’t get a divorce
I promise you that most people who are divorced said the same thing. Nobody plans to be divorced. Nobody thinks they’ll get divorced and yet, divorces do happen. And, again, you don’t have health insurance because you plan on getting sick or injured, right?
We’ll be amicable
You think that now because now you’re happy and in love and you cannot imagine ever wanting anything that would be in direct conflict with your partner’s happiness. But those are not the circumstances that exist when people get a divorce.
He can just have half
You say that now but…how do you know your business won’t take off like crazy? You could build an empire and lose half of it in a divorce? That would sting. You love this guy but, come on—you are the one who earned that money.
We don’t have anything
Okay that’s fine but do you plan on remaining that way? I’m guessing you have aspirations of buying a home one day. Or of growing some money you currently have in investments. Don’t think about what you have now: think about what you plan to have.
I’m the mother of his kids
So he’d never do anything to upset or hurt you, right? Mmm…what if he later feels he’s better suited to have full custody of the kids? Or, if you want the kids to remain in their childhood home and you want custody, then that would mean you should get the house. These are things you can cover in a prenup.
I raised those kids
Well, that brings us to another point: if you’ve left work to raise your children, then you may be removing yourself from the running of potential employees in your industry. If you and your partner split, you would not have his money or a serviceable resume (you’d taken 18 plus years off, after all). Shouldn’t you be protected?
Our assets are worth little
You seriously never know how things can change. Economies go through a lot. Your little house, or that old car, could suddenly become a hot commodity.
My partner is reasonable
Nobody is reasonable during a divorce. Even the most reasonable individuals are emotional and exhausted, and angry about how much the divorce lawyers cost.
It kills the vibe
Well maybe it’s worth it to kill the vibe for a few days while you draw up this prenup, in order to not kill the vibe of the rest of your life if you were to get a divorce and not be protected.
I want trust in our marriage
Asking for a prenup doesn’t have to mean that you don’t have trust. In fact, it means that you care about each other so much that you’d like to protect yourselves from your future, angry selves. You want to make sure your partner is protected, and he wants the same for you.
We can just make one later
While you’re married? Okay. Sure. But you probably won’t get around to doing that. If the marriage is going well, you’ll see less and less reason to make one. If the marriage turns sour, then it’s too late to make one with your heads on your shoulders.
I’m not greedy
Nobody is accusing you of being greedy for creating a prenup. There’s a difference between being greedy and wanting what is fair.
Our friends don’t have one
Do you do everything your friends do? Or don’t do? Some of your friends are swingers—should you do that, too? Some use crystals instead of medicine for illness—will you do that as well?
Making one is expensive
Alright but not having one can cost you more than you’d ever imagined—like your stability, peace of mind, sense of justice, and even your children.
Only infidelity would break us up
So you say the only thing that could cause you divorce is infidelity, in which case, you feel you’d be entitled to whatever you wanted. Unfortunately, even if a cheater feels guilty, he probably still won’t hand you everything. So put a fidelity clause in the prenup.