Beat Stress If Not For Yourself, Then For Your Partner
Think you can live with stress? Some people think that stress is no match for them. But, that’s simply not true. We all know these individuals. They have stomach issues, they can’t sleep, they have back issues, and they clearly have a chip on their shoulders. They think they can get away with not addressing their stress but it is bursting at the seams of every inch of their being. If anything I just said sounds like symptoms you deal with then, whoops, I’ve got news for you: you aren’t handling stress well, either. You’re just letting your body take the brunt of it. But, look, some people don’t mind the symptoms that come from ignoring stress. Okay. That’s your prerogative when you live alone and aren’t in a relationship. But when you are in a serious relationship, and even more when you live with your partner, you owe it not just to yourself but to that person to bust stress. Why you should bust stress, if not for yourself then for your partner.
You are a bad listener
Nobody can really listen to anyone else’s problems—or even not their problems but, the stories from their day—when they’re stressed out. When you’re under stress, every piece of information feels overwhelming so you just don’t do a good job listening to your partner.
You can’t provide comfort
Whether you realize it or not, if you don’t heal yourself (aka find ways to tackle stress) you won’t have energy to heal or comfort anyone else. You’re just tapped out, and don’t really provide your partner with the consolation he needs during tough times.
He goes elsewhere for comfort
Your partner needs someone to go to when he’s stressed or upset so, he goes elsewhere. I’m not saying he’s having an emotional affair—but if he is, those can be very damaging—but he is starting to see somebody else as his source for warmth and comfort.
Your libido is down
Being under stress kills your libido. You may not realize that your sex life has dwindled because, well, you don’t feel like having sex because you’re stressed out. But your partner notices.
You’re distracted during sex
On the rare occasion that you do have sex, you’re checked out. Your mind is clearly elsewhere (like with your stresses) which leaves your partner feel unloved, insulted, and even uncomfortable (like you’re just doing this for him).
You suck at double dates
Your partner doesn’t want to take you on any double dates. You embarrass him. You don’t really contribute to the conversation or when you do, you sound very negative.
You’re elsewhere on date night
When you have one-on-one date night, your partner can feel like it’s just a waste of everyone’s time and energy. You’re physically there, but you may as well not be because you aren’t present. He made you that nice meal for nothing.
You’re overreacting to little things
When you don’t fight bigger sources of stress in your life, then the little things can put you over the edge. So you’ve gone off on your poor partner over forgetting to wash the dish towels with the rest of the laundry.
You need perfection on vacation
Everyone needs a vacation, but you need one desperately. You rely on it too much as a source of joy because the rest of your life is miserable because you’re so stressed out. That leaves you a nightmare of a person to vacation with because you get really angry if the tour you wanted to go on is full or the pool menu doesn’t have the drink you want.
You cannot handle tiny bad news
Your partner has to walk on eggshells, shielding you from little pieces of bad news like a cable bill that’s gone up five dollars a month or that your in-laws have extended their stay in your home by one day.
Too much is falling on your partner
You may not realize it but, a lot of tasks are falling on your partner. He can tell that it’s just not worth it to ask you to keep up your end of chores—you are barely keeping it together, emotionally, doing the bare minimum. So he’s doing your chores for you.
Stress is shortening your life
Hey, stress has a way of shortening one’s lifespan. Nobody is promised 100 years but, your partner had some expectation of how long he’d get to have you. Don’t let him down by letting stress put you in an early grave.
His parents make comments
His parents see how stressed you are, and they can’t help but worry that it’s rubbing off on your partner—or taking a toll on him. They grill him about it. Do something about your stress, so your partner’s parents will get off his back.
Sometimes, he takes it personally
Your partner does his best not to take it personally when you lash out at him over nothing. But he can’t help but feel like it’s personal sometimes, and that’s putting a strain on your relationship.
You’re not the person he met
The odds are that, when you met your partner, you weren’t this stressed out. He wouldn’t have gotten into this relationship in the first place if you were. So, you’re not the person he once met. You probably would think it were unfair if he stopped being the person you met, right?