Why You Should Pursue Your Passion Before Having Kids
It worries me when people have kids really young, but don’t be mistaken: it’s not their age that concerns me. It’s actually the simple fact that, because they are so young, they probably haven’t had time to do much else before popping out little ones. That’s just simple math. Maybe a 22-year-old is mature and responsible enough to raise a child but, she can’t possibly have pursued much else besides parenthood by that age. And it’s so important to find out who you are, other than a parent, before becoming a parent. Being a parent cannot be your whole identity. Not only is it not fair to you, but it also isn’t fair to your child. Any time you don’t absolutely love parenthood, you’ll look to your child and think, “But this is all I have.” Well. Whose fault is that? Not the kids’. Here is why you should pursue your passion before having kids.
It could make you more money
Sometimes, pursuing your passion could actually be the most lucrative thing. Having a successful business will always be more lucrative than working for a successful business. If you’re willing to take the risk and go for it completely, you could provide your future children with an incredible lifestyle and opportunities.
The hours will be crazy
You can’t set a time limit on pursuing your passion. You can’t force it to abide by some schedule. You never know when an idea will strike. You aren’t working hourly—you’re working until the project is done. Those type of hours aren’t conducive to parenthood.
The emotional ups and downs
Pursuing your dreams will come with a lot of emotional ups and downs. No person can really survive those combined with the ups and downs that come with parenthood.
It can cost you money at first
While pursuing your passion could wind up being lucrative, at first, it could cost you. You need to spend money to make money, right? But you don’t want to have to choose between funding your dreams or sending your kids to the better middle school.
You’ll learn how to balance it all
If you want to have your passion and kids in your life, take things one step at a time. It’s best to get acclimated to the rhythm of life and challenges that come with pursuing your dreams—get settled in that—before adding kids to the mix.
Or you’ll get it out of your system
Honestly, you may find that you don’t actually want to be a travel writer or musician after all. But if you don’t ever try, you may always wonder, and that will drive you nuts. If you try, and find it isn’t for you, then you’ll value family life even more.
Your true friends are in your passion
You’ll find the people who are meant to be in your life when you pursue your passion. You’ll find people with similar values, and those who really love you for who you are. Isn’t that the type of village you want around to raise a family?
Test your relationship
It’s good to see how your partner responds to you having something in your life that demands your attention a lot and steals it from him. Your passion can definitely put your relationship to that test. And it’s better to test it in that way, than by having kids.
Inspire your children to do the same
If you go after your dreams, then you’ll be a role model for your kids and inspire them to do the same. You don’t want to teach them that life is just about paying taxes and surviving. It’s about thriving.
You’ll be a happier parent
If you “do you” before dedicating your life to another person, you’re going to be a better parent for it. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else and that means, in the big picture, doing the things you’d like to do before you have kids, that you just can’t really do when you have kids.
You’ll find yourself
You’ll learn a lot about yourself by going after your dreams. You’ll learn a lot about your values, about what you need to be happy, about what really matters to you, and even where your breaking points are. These are great lessons for parents.
You may need to travel
Going after your dreams may require physical relocation. But, you can’t really do that if you have kids who are all set up at a school and have friends in your neighborhood.
You won’t resent your kids
It’s hard not to see your family as the reason your dreams didn’t happen…if they didn’t happen. Hey, look, maybe if you go after them before you have kids, they won’t work out. Then you’ll know that’s on you—not your family. Or maybe they will work out and you’ll get everything you ever wanted.
You won’t resent your partner
If you’re pining after what could have been if you weren’t held back by the financial and time strains that come with raising kids, you can’t help but look at your partner—the person who played a big role in making these kids—and resent him.
You may find kids aren’t for you
If you feel like you need to have kids due to society’s expectations, that’s just silly. You should only have kids if that is something that would truly fulfill you. And on that note, if you think your career could truly fulfill you, it’s worth pursuing your passion. You may find that for you, that’s enough—maybe that is your baby. And maybe it’s not enough. But you won’t know if you don’t try.