Signs Your Sex Life Needs A Boost
With so many distractions at our fingertips these days, coupled with increased work demands and commitments to our family and friends, it’s easy to put your sexual needs and expectations on the back-burner.
Whether you’re in a long-term relationship/marriage or happily single, having an enjoyable sex life is important. Sex is just as essential as any other part of a healthy relationship, so if you know that things are lacking in the bedroom, but you aren’t quite sure what it is, check out these warning signs it’s time for a boost.
You Don’t Enjoy Sex Anymore
Perhaps the most common reason for finding yourself in a sexual rut, is that you simply just don’t enjoy it anymore. This could be due to things your partner is doing (or not doing), medical issues, or your own hectic lifestyle.
Sex is one of the most amazing experiences and should be enjoyable. If that’s not the case, you should ask yourself when things changed and why. If your issues are more serious, you might want to consult a professional, such as a sex therapist, to get to the bottom of things.
You’re Going Through The Motions Sexually
You’re laying in bed, having sex, and counting down the minutes to when it’s over. You’re approaching sex like it’s a job–you have to do it, so you’re just phoning it in until it’s over.
Few things are worse sexually than being with someone who is there in body, but not in spirit. Before you have sex the next time, figure out why your heart isn’t in it and when things changed to make you feel that way. Addressing it head on can get down to the root of things.
Foreplay Is Limited/Non-Existent
Indulging in regular foreplay heats you up before you get to the good stuff and can also help you wind down before the big act if you’re stressed. Foreplay is also essential because it allows you to slow down, appreciate and enjoy sex without feeling like you have to race to the finish line for your orgasm. If your partner is speeding through or completely leaving out foreplay, tell them that you need more of it, instead of continuously engaging in unfulfilling sex.
You’re Having Trouble Having An Orgasm
Now this is a tricky situation because the reasons for not having an orgasm vary greatly. It could be a health issue, a mental/ emotional problem, or all of those things combined. The main thing here is to pay attention to the fact that something has changed and try to figure out why. Are you feeling disconnected from your partner or are you suddenly experiencing pain or discomfort that warrants a visit to the doctor?
Your Sexual Positions Are Always The Same
As humans we are creatures of habit, meaning that it’s quite easy to rely on the same sexual positions every time you have sex. There are certain positions that you also go to because you’re guaranteed an orgasm, and that’s fine, but there are others that get used repeatedly because you’re just not using your imagination and getting creative enough.
To make the process for trying out new sex positions fun, perhaps you and your partner could look through some books on the subject, such as the Kama Sutra or even look at some adult entertainment to get ideas.
Masturbation Is Your Preferred Sex Of Choice
Masturbation is one of the most natural, healthy and safe ways to have sex and you might enjoy it so much that you start to depend on it more than sex with a partner. There is a fine line between self-love and total sexual isolation, so tread carefully.
You certainly don’t have to give up your need for self-pleasure, but find ways to include your partner. If you have certain sex toys that you love, have your partner use them on you while you tell them exactly what you like. The goal is to cut your masturbation time in half and include your partner a lot more.
You’ve Forgotten How To Embrace Your Sexuality
It happens to the best of us, you look up one day and realize that you don’t even remember what it means to be sexy. Embracing your sexuality goes beyond sexy clothes and dirty talk, it’s really about celebrating and realizing just how desirable you are as a woman.
To change things, get back to the basics and reintroduce all of the things that turn you on or make you feel the sexiest. If you love lingerie, sensual striptease, surprise phone sex or role-playing, bring those things back and turn your bedroom into the hottest spot in town.
You Put Sex Last On Your To-Do List
These days everyone is operating at such a rapid pace, trying to cram everything they need to do into a mere 24 hours. This means that on your long to-do list of tasks, sex can quickly get pushed to the bottom.
You know how great you feel after you’ve had amazing sex, like you can tackle anything the next day? That feeling is exactly why you should make sex a priority and commit to putting it higher on your list than where it currently ranks.
You Don’t Talk About What’s Wrong
If more people actually verbally communicated what’s wrong in their sex life, they wouldn’t have nearly as many issues. Mind-readers don’t exist, so if something is lacking in your sex life you need to open your mouth and discuss it with your partner.
Now, if you’re in a relationship where you feel that you can’t have this discussion, then your issues go far beyond the bedroom. However, if they are more simple, just stop, take a deep breath and air out all your sexual frustrations verbally before the next time you engage in the act.
You Have Too Many Distractions In The Bedroom
From the TV and electronic devices to kids and work, there are a ton of distractions that you bring into the bedroom that shouldn’t be there. Your bedroom should be the place where you sleep and have sex, adding other outside things to it gets you farther away from viewing it as the setting for pleasure.
If you do have a TV in your bedroom have a set time/day when you turn it on, if you have kids, set aside a few minutes to have them in your bedroom and if you need to catch up on work, leave it as far from the bedroom as possible. Your bedroom should be the location to pleasure and outside distractions have no place there.