How You’ll Be Just Like Your Mom, And That’s Okay
Whatever your mom does that drives you up the wall, that makes you b*tch about her to your friends at brunch for an hour, that takes up most of your conversations with your therapist, and that make you two get into regular yelling matches…I promise you that when you have children, you’ll do the same thing. You may not do it with the same severity, and you may not do it in the exact same way, but you’ll do your own version of it. If you become a parent, some ancient biological systems just kick into motion that you cannot control. They override your personality. They override every part of you that said you’d never be a certain way. It’s just nature—moms will do what moms will do. Haven’t you noticed that you and your friends complain about mostly the same things when it comes to your mothers? But when it’s you, you’ll understand, and you’ll smile thinking about your own mom. Here are ways you’ll be like your mom and why it’s okay.
Nobody will be good enough for your child
No boyfriend or girlfriend will ever be good enough for your child. You’ll put most of them through the ringer. But you know what? The one who is meant for your child will tolerate it, and stay anyways. If you scare someone off, that person wasn’t meant for your kid anyways. True love isn’t afraid of a judgmental mother.
Wanting your kid to make more money
You’ll always be poking around, seeing if there are ways your child could be making more money. And when you do, you’ll realize that when your mom did that, it wasn’t because she thought you weren’t successful or weren’t good enough—it was because she just wanted you to have the best life possible.
Clearing out the fridge
When your baby comes home from college or her life in the city, on the day she is packing up to leave again, you’ll start bringing her every item in the fridge, pantry, and closet, asking if she wants it. She’ll tell you she’s in a rush and can’t do this now. You’ll say, “Okay.” And five minutes later you’ll return with a sweater you think she’d like.
Hoping your kid opens up more
You’ll always pry and ask your kid if there’s anything she wants to open up to you about that she isn’t opening up to you about. You’ll always believe there’s something she’s not telling you. You’ll realize your mom did that, not because she felt entitled to all of your life details, but rather because she wanted to offer help if she could.
Being a bit overbearing
I don’t think there is anybody on this planet who doesn’t feel that their mom is a bit overbearing. So, yes, you’ll be overbearing. But you’ll realize that that’s just how moms are because they love their babies so much that it hurts.
Thinking everything is too dangerous
Wherever your child is going, you’ll start researching articles on the dangers of that place. It could be a neighborhood, a travel destination, or just a new job. You’ll obsess over what could go wrong.
Thinking everything is too provocative
Whatever the new fashion or dance trend is in your kid’s world, you’ll think it’s too provocative. You’ll tell her not to participate. Then you’ll remember that your mom used to say the same thing to you, and it was just because she believed you were a perfect, graceful, regal princess who was above that.
Your kid never eats right
You will always feel that your kid either doesn’t eat enough, or eats too much. You can’t help it—for the first 15 or so years of her life, you were totally in charge of making sure she got the perfect amount of sustenance. You can’t just let that go, all because your kid is an adult.
Your kid should always clean more
Your child’s place will never be clean enough in your opinion. Even when it’s quite clean. And you’ll remember that your mom felt the same way about you, and you’ll realize that she was just worried that she hadn’t taught you to be tidy enough.
Your kid never calls enough
The first thing you’ll tell your child when she calls is how long it’s been since the last time she called. And in your opinion, she’ll never call enough. It’ll drive her nuts, the way it drove you nuts when your mom did it to you. But you’ll realize your mom just missed you.
Meals will happen on your time
You’ll become difficult and finicky about meal times, just like your mom was. You’ll make your child bend to your strict schedule of lunch at noon and dinner at 5:30 anytime you go on a mother/daughter weekend away. And you’ll realize your mom did that because blood sugar issues are a real thing as you get older!
Every symptom will be a medical emergency
If your child complains of so much as a mild headache, you’ll dive into a hundred questions about her health, you’ll get on WebMd, and you’ll insist she see a doctor.
You’ll make your kid uncomfortable
You will try to talk to your grown child about things like, her sex life or your sex life. You’ll make her squirm. And you’ll recall that your mom did the same thing to you, and that it was just because she was trying to become friends.
You’ll never stop babying
You’ll never stop babying your child no matter how old she is. That’s your baby. You brought her into this world and you consider yourself her custodian forever, just like your mom does for you.
You’ll always know more than your kid
You’ll always insist that your kid doesn’t know what she’s talking about when she argues with you, and that you know best because you’re older. You’ll even say this when your child is 40. It’s just what moms do.