You can love your fiance to the moon and back, but planning a wedding is not all flowers and sweet nothings. It may likely be the first battle of your marriage, and how you handle it could be a good predictor for your Happily Ever After.
Of all the possible hot-button issues that could set off a firestorm, there are few things that you and future spouse are bound to fight about. Here are five of them.
This one might seem pretty general, but that’s because there is typically a lot of money involved in planning a wedding (even for simpler weddings). You might want to splurge on the decor and the food, but your fiance might want to focus your finances more on the DJ and photography.
With so much coin in play, this could be the biggest battle because you want to get your money’s worth. The best way to handle this fight would be to draft a budget and talk about the priorities each one of you has for the day. If you have the money, each of you should get one item/category to splurge on (within reason for your budget). If you don’t, the two of you need ot come to an agreement on an aspect of the wedding that is equally important to you because that will be your big-ticket item.
The Guest List
After setting a wedding date, this is the most important piece of the wedding planning puzzle. Determining your guest list will help you find the right kind of venue and get accurate price quotes. More importantly than that, it helps set the vibe for your day. You might want to invite the entire village and all of your social media followers. Your fiance, however, may have a more intimate affair in mind.
The two of you are going to have to come to some sort of compromise on who is getting an invite, and who is definitely not. An objective way to handle this would be to define the criteria that gets someone an invite. Determining your guidelines for a cut-off saves you a lot of headaches.
People marrying outside of their culture often butt heads about which family traditions to include in the wedding. Regardless of how connected one may be to their ancestral heritage, determining which traditions to observe and which to cut can get pretty touchy.
Think about why including a family or cultural tradition in your wedding is important to you. Then ask your would-be spouse why its important to them. As it will happen many times throughout your marriage, this is the time to communicate and compromise. Maybe the best solution would be for each of you to add a tradition to the ceremony, which better symbolizes your coming together.
Food & Bar
Guests may not remember your flowers or your favors, but they will absolutely remember the food and the bar. Make sure they’re good. Of the wedding planning costs, this has the potential to be the most expensive. Depending on the kind of reception you want, you can expect to spend at least a few hundred dollars. It doesn’t matter if you’re serving pizza or a 5-course dinner, feeding people is going to cost a lot of money. And the more people you have on your guest list the faster the price goes up.
Since it’s such a huge part of the wedding reception, you and your intended need to agree on the menu. You also want to be clear on whether it would be more affordable for you to do a sit-down meal, where your guests are served, or a buffet. The answer may surprise you.
Decorations may not matter that much to your guests, but they do matter to you. The aesthetics are the backdrop of your day, and there’s an excellent chance you’ll be spending lots of time pulling together the fine details of the ceremony and the reception. You’ve probably fallen down a Pintrest hole saving ideas for the altar, the aisle, the sweetheart table, and the photo booth! There’s a separate Pintrest you have for the table decorations.
However, the wedding is about you and your partner. They get a say in how the day looks, too. But what happens if you don’t like their ideas? Drop the issue for a day and come back with a fresh set of eyes and a new perspective. Instead of looking at how different the idea may be, look at individual elements to see how they might work together. If that doesn’t work, try to find a theme that you both enjoy and build the look of the wedding around that.