A dear friend of mine is married to a man with a chronic and hereditary illness. They’re in and out of the hospital every few months when he has flare-ups. Traveling is quite difficult for them and they have to make sure a lot of systems are in place before they can go anywhere in case her partner has an episode of symptoms. I told her recently how impressed I am with how well she handles it, how strong she is for him, and how great she is at rolling with the punches (of which there are many) that come with his illness. She told me that, by now, she was used to it, but there was one thing she couldn’t quite wrap her head around: how they are going to have children one day. They want to. But his condition is hereditary and very difficult to live with. Here are the realities of wanting to have children with a man with a hereditary illness.
He sometimes says you should choose someone else
Sometimes my friend’s partner feels so guilty about the way his illness affects her prospects of having children that he says things like, “You should just go be with somebody else.”