Were You Meant To Date In A Different Century?
Have you ever found yourself at a club or bar, seen two people who have never exchanged one word start grinding to your right, a few women walk out of the bathroom to your left readjusting the gel pads over their breasts in their bandage dresses, and a cocktail server in front of you offering you a “Slippery nipple shot” and thought to yourself I don’t belong in this decade. Or perhaps I don’t belong in this century. I’ve felt that way plenty of times. In fact, I can’t tell you how many times a man has said something to me—either in person or online—that I found utterly offensive, that my friends told me was a perfectly normal thing for a man to say to a woman. What?! How is that perfectly normal if I’m literally considering calling the police on this person? Hey, some of us just were destined for a different time. Were you meant to date in a different era?
You love phone calls
If a man wants to ask you out, he can call you. In fact, you love when people call! You love the formality and intimacy of a phone call. You’re just put off by dates that are planned via text, and you’re always impressed when a man calls you, asks how you are, and states he’d like to take you out (not just “grab drinks some time” but “take you out on the town”).
You believe in proper dates
You believe in actual dates—dates that are planned, dates that have set activities, dates that might involve drinks here and dinner there. You aren’t crazy about the casual dating culture in which someone invites you (with two hours notice) to meet him at a bar…with his friends to “see where the night goes.”
You wait a while to hook up
You think sex is kind of a big deal and you don’t do it with someone you’ve only been out with a few times. You need to feel like this relationship has legs before you hop into bed with somebody.
You like to dress up
You think a date should be an occasion to dress up, which is why you don’t love it when a date tells you that you can just wear jeans or something comfy to the spot he’s taking you. If that’s the wardrobe requirement then, in your opinion, that is not a date spot.
A food truck is not for dates
Look, you love a good food truck as much as the next Korean taco fan but…you don’t think food trucks are good for dates. Unless your date has packed a lovely picnic basket of wine and appetizers to go with it, along with a blanket, and he has selected a romantic hilltop spot with a view to eat your food.
You’re very private
You find that you are a lot more private than most of your peers. You don’t post photos or anecdotes on social media about your dating life, sex life, or bathroom habits. You post very modest photos. And, honestly, you’re just not that into social media.
You think he should get the cab/walk you home
You believe men should get your cab or Lyft to send you home. You believe men should walk you to your car (if you feel okay with that). You believe men should give you their jacket, and walk on the side of the street near traffic.
You like much older people
You’ve always tended to click with people who are a couple of decades older than you are, whether that’s been platonically or romantically. Some of your best friends are a good 15 to 20 years older than you are and the way they think and talk about dating makes sense to you.
You love letters
Oh my gosh do you love a good letter. You love the intimacy of holding a piece of paper that the other person touched. You love how someone’s personality shows through in their handwriting. You really wish you got more letters.
You believe men should chase you a little
You believe that men should make you feel like they are willing to work for it. It amazes you sometimes how quickly men just give up if you aren’t able to go out on the first two dates they recommend. I mean, hello—you’re special. You’re worth a reschedule.
The term F*&k boy insults your senses
You hate that term. Seriously. When you heard it, you considered moving to another country.
People say you have an old soul
People often tell you that you have an old soul. When you tell people how old you are, they are shocked—not because of the way you look, but because of the way you compose yourself.
You want more dancing, but less grinding
You actually wish that dancing was a regular part of dating—the way it may have been sixty years ago. But you don’t want to grind. You want to swing, waltz, jive, and do the mambo.
You love a man with a vintage style
You’re very attracted to men who wear top hats, ascots, suspenders, and patent leather lace up shoes. If a man owns a record player and classic records, you think you’re in love.
You despise all the acronyms
F2F, FWB, BBW—these acronyms make you nauseous. If anyone tries to talk to you online using these, you block them immediately. You just know there is no way you could ever connect with someone who uses acronyms.