Are Your Standards Sabotaging Your Love Life?

May 25, 2018  |  
12 of 15 toasting at bar

Everyone has to have some level of standards or else the dating game would be total chaos. It’s okay to be a bit judgmental—that simply means that you use your past experiences and insight to help you better understand people. The only reason that being judgmental gets a bad reputation is that some people just judge that everyone is, well, not as good as they are. Those are the folks we can actually call “Judgy.” They’re able to spin any quality or behavior into a negative. They look for reasons not to like people. They interrogate and analyze each person they meet assuming they’re already guilty of something. This usually just comes from a desire to protect ones self or—and this is often the case—a deep-seated insecurity the judger is projecting onto others, judging people before they get the chance to judge them. But this personality type has a very hard time in the dating pool. Are your standards sabotaging your love life? watching TV and eating popcorn on living room sofa



He can’t have roommates

If you live in a metropolitan area, then a guy would have to basically be the CEO of a very successful company to not have roommates. You know how high rent is in the cities. Having roommates in no way indicates that someone isn’t doing well or isn’t working on their goals. Oh, and if you have a roommate, but the guys you date can’t have roommates, then that’s just unfair. walking on pedestrian crossing with shoulder bag, at sunset

He must be well established by 30

Life is just harder, as far as careers go, than it was, say, fifty years ago. Most people don’t hit their stride until their forties. And good! We’ve learned the value in spending more time exploring what it is we actually want to do and getting to know ourselves. This, naturally, pushes back career success by a few years. But that’s okay. students learning computer programming with teacher. Multiethnic group of girls in computer lab coding on laptops.

He must’ve gone to a very good college

A lot of people never went to college at all, or didn’t finish, like Steve Jobs, John. D Rockefeller, and Russell Simmons. I’m sure their partners are glad they didn’t write them off due to their lack of college credits. woman wearing tiara, close-up

People say you have a princess vibe

More than a few men have referred to you as princess or told you that you have a princess vibe. Princess vibes only develop after years of being very judgmental and hard to please. date

Your friends refuse to set you up

Your friends have given up on setting you up. They’re tired of you turning down the best bachelors they know over some trivial piece of information. They aren’t wasting one more good setup on you. with laptop in the bedroom

Your profile has a long list of deal breakers

Your profile has a very small blurb about you, another very short blurb about what you’re looking for in a man, and a very long list of all of your deal breakers. black couple arguing while having problems in their relationship at dining table.


Men have left because you were too difficult

A few men have bailed on date two or three and just said that you were too difficult. In simply deciding what to do, or dealing with scheduling things with you, they decided you were a handful. You didn’t even make it to the second or third date. Or first…!
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Portrait of Couple on the Beach, Florida, USA unhappy


Your exes are all narcissists

If you have impossibly high standards, then you’re going to wind up dating a lot of narcissists. Look, I’m not saying that all extremely successful men with perfect bodies and high status in society are narcissists. But, um…a lot of them are. And that’s all you’ll date. African American woman is displeased because her boyfriend ruined their breakfast.

Or they left because they couldn’t meet your needs

The few men you dated who weren’t narcissists broke up with you with some variation of the words, “I can’t seem to give you what you want” or “I clearly cannot make you happy.” people playing chess

Your list of approved singles venues is very short

There are only a handful of places you’ll even go to meet men. It’s a very short list, the drinks are $15 at all of the places, and they all have valet parking. couple drinking coffee, in cafe

Your list of date venues is also very short

The list of places you’ll go on a date is even shorter. Oh, and you don’t let men choose the date spot. They are allowed to pitch you a list of ideas that you will edit for them. looking at artwork

He must have had a serious relationship before

You won’t date a guy if he’s never had a serious relationship. Maybe for men over the age of 40, this should be a red flat. But in this era of self-discovery and self-improvement, it’s not uncommon for men not to get into their first serious relationship until their thirties. and groom

But he cannot have been married

You won’t date men who have been married. Well, that writes off a big group. Hey, some people make mistakes. At least you know this person was able to commit. on front stoop

You give a lot of lectures

You’ve given a lot of men lectures—lectures about certain rules of yours that they broke, lectures about when they’re supposed to call, and lectures about how they are to behave when they’re out with you. woman pouting

You wouldn’t be described as approachable

Nobody would describe you as approachable. Maybe you get things like “Ice queen” or “Intimidating.” But not approachable.

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