Things That Interfere With A Sex Life In Long-Term Relationships
When you first start dating someone, and you’re in that honeymoon phase when you both know you’re into each other, you aren’t dating other people, but everything is still new and exciting, nothing can get in the way of your sex life. You just won’t have it. If you know you have seven minutes until the Uber arrives, you’ll have sex. If you need to wake up in four hours, you’ll have sex. If every dish is still dirty from the dinner you made, you’ll get it on. You’re late to just about every occasion because you were doing the deed. Sex comes before everything else at the start of a relationship. Later, after you’ve been together for several years, the complete opposite becomes true. Everything comes before sex. Once you’ve built a life together, things just…change. There is always something demanding your attention or energy and sex can fall to the wayside. If you’ve been with your partner for a while then you know: here are things that interfere with a sex life in a long-term relationship.
You just don’t get it on unless you’re working with the same sleep schedule. If you aren’t, then one person is already fast asleep while the other one is just getting home and starting to make dinner. Nobody stays up, waiting for the other anymore. And being woken up early for morning sex? That just causes a fight.
The dog needs to be walked. The dog needs to be fed. The dog is sitting in the room staring at you. The dog is being so cute that you just want to cuddle her instead of have sex. If you have a dog, you know she’s gotten in the way of your sex life plenty of times.
You just don’t fight the good fight the way you did early in the relationship, when you just pretended you weren’t having digestive issues. Remember that? When you’d get it on, with an imminent bathroom disaster waiting in the wings. Now, you are very open about the fact that you are too bloated or gassy to have sex.
A weird social interaction
You could and would brush these off early in the relationship. If a server was rude or you ran into an old friend that you had a falling out with…you’d somehow forget it, and be perky enough to have sex later. But you become more real about how these things affect you when you’ve been together for a while and sometimes, you’re in too weird of a mood to have sex.
Admit it: many a good nights for sex have been ruined because you watched a documentary. Documentaries are usually not about things that boost that libido. Crime documentaries about spousal homicide. Documentaries about human trafficking. Documentaries about orphanages. These are not topics that leave people horny.
Household chore conversations
When you’ve been together for a long time, you probably live together, and that means you have to talk about things like who is leaving crumbs on the kitchen counter and who clogged the sink. These are not sexy conversations.
Discussing a lack of a sex life
Talking about the fact that you aren’t having sex has put a stop to sex for the night, hasn’t it? Yup. And yet, you just can’t help it. You always bring up the fact that you’re not having enough sex.
Phone calls with parents
It’s just…weird…to have sex within thirty minutes of chatting on the phone with your parents. Maybe in the beginning of the relationship, you’d brush it off, but not now.
If you’ve joined lives, then you probably need to talk finances. You have shared financial goals, and your spending habits affect one another. But nobody really feels in the mood after discussing budgets.
You log onto social media and see all kinds of things that turn you off. A sad video. A picture of an ex. A maddening photo. A depressing article. You’ve been together for a while now so, you aren’t going to pretend this content hasn’t upset you.
A messy bedroom
If you live together then you share the same bedroom. So when you make your way into that bedroom to have sex, someone may comment on the fact that it’s time to clean the sheets, or someone left their clothes on the floor, and the mood is ruined.
Fear that it’s getting stale
I know that for me, personally, I worry about having tons of sex after all these years because I fear it will go stale. Are you only allowed so many good sessions in the sack as a couple? Should we dole them out slowly?
You forget because you’re having fun
Sometimes we just forget to have sex for a couple of weeks because we’re having fun! We’re always doing something entertaining like going on a hike, seeing that movie we’ve been eager to see, or meeting up with friends. We just don’t realize that we made no time for sex.
Spicy or off-limits foods
We just become a bit more lax about avoiding the foods that can ruin our chances of sex that night. My boyfriend, for example, loves to play with the devil that is cheese when he knows we’re supposed to get it on that night.
Your social life
When you’re a serious couple, your social calendar becomes twice as packed. You’re now contending with two social networks and between the two of them, there’s always something vying for your time.