This Husband’s Viral Apology For Disregarding His Wife Is Being Met With Mixed Reviews
We can argue that sharing anything on social media is done with the intention of being noticed, celebrated, even validated. With this in mind, it makes certain actions appear less socially acceptable when they appear on our timelines. And then there are others that fall somewhere in the gray area. This was the case when a husband publicly acknowledged the ways he had been discounting his wife’s feelings, even perceiving her emotions as weakness.
One day, he came home from work and saw the light. He wrote about the experience on Facebook and Instagram.
View this post on Instagram
So many times i called her weak for her intense emotional reactions toward different things… Told her to grow up, "be a woman", "stop being so insecure"… I'm so hard on my wife and oftentimes disconnected, because the strength i thought she needed, i couldn't see that she already had it. I confused her love and weakness for me, as lack of strength as a woman… Twice i watched her give birth to nearly 8lb babies, without epidurals and minimum assistance.. I watch her come home everyday to a 3yr with absolutely no chill whatsoever, after a 12hr shift, and have to stay up with him despite being tired. Even with all that she rarely complains and deals with my shit. How could I be so damn stupid, to see "weakness" within all of this?? Today, when i walked into the living room and saw this I realized just how much of a fool I AM… We miss what's there in plain sight because we become fixated on the fantasy, not realizing that the reality is the fantasy… Sometimes you just have to remove the spec from your own eye! I thank God for my wife, for the ups and downs, and everyday lessons and the strength she has that i was blind to see. I am grateful for the revelation that today has brought 🙏🏾🙏🏾👨👩👧👦+👸
Let’s assess the offenses here, shall we?
This woman’s husband not only perceived her emotions as weak, he called her weak for feeling and expressing them. He used her insecurities as an excuse to tell her to “grow up.” He thought love was weakness.
He describes her parenting duties at home with no explanation about why his wife is the only one staying up with their three-year-old with no chill when, from his description, it seems like they both work.
She’s putting up with his sh*t which could be a number of things.
Thankfully, after however long of them being together and her raising his children, he finally saw the strength in her being passed out on the couch with their children. Now, he thanks God for his wife and the strength he’s just now seeing.
To be fair, I came to read this story with a bit of bias attached. When I saw it on Twitter, the words, “He’s a trash a** husband & wants to be applauded for it. Omg. Lmao.”
Even after seeing people applaud this man for his newfound clarity, I still believe there’s merit to the analysis I originally saw. It’s concerning that these two would make it all the way through marriage and parenthood without this man knowing how to support this woman, his wife. It’s sad and speaks even further to the ways in which men aren’t aware of the myriad of ways they disrespect us. Men who are married will cry up and down the streets about how much they love and respect women because they have a wife or a daughter. But look what was happening in this man’s home? This is the emotional labor that millions of women carry, silently. Quite a few men don’t recognize it. This one saw it and was apparently repulsed by it.
It’s sad and scary.
Still, I can certainly appreciate the fact that he’s ready to own up to his foolishness. Thing is, it’s going to take much more than a Facebook post to make up for what was likely years of mistreatment. Only his wife will be able to share the truth about whether or not this Facebook post came with changed behavior, the best apology. Appropriately, those were the words Jay Z spoke in an interview with Van Jones about his own marital indiscretions. Which reminds me of the conflicting bitterness I still feel toward Jay too. Do I appreciate the fact that he owned up to his mistakes? Absolutely. It’s not something I’ve seen done on that scale in Hip Hop ever before. But I would be lying if I said I hate the fact that it took him 40+ years, a marriage and a child before he realized this truth. I hate this not just for my girl Beyoncé, but for the other women who will have to put up with sh*t while they wait for their boyfriends, husbands an partners to mature to a level of basic human decency.
Check out the responses to this husband’s social media share on the following pages.
- thepartyspaThis helped me love better and value a woman’s essence even more..
- tradingplaces94@nubianlove29 I can only imagine what she went through before he realized what she meant to him 😩😩😩
- geminimeadows_traThat made me emotional 😭 many times you see pictures and paintings etc.. of men holding the world on their backs, and many do however, what you don’t see on the other side of that globe, is a women balancing it so you appear to be strong. I Birth Humans, What’s Your Super Power??
- marchbaebaeMade me tear up…
- queen_shanyhawhy does it take men 2 kids to realise what they have?
- insideoutglam@yokimom44 yes, this isn’t an apology , horrible things to say and feel toward your wife! Sometimes I have to ask who raised these dudes…. boy bye👋🏾👋🏾👋🏾👋🏾👋🏾
Interestingly enough, the man’s mother stepped into the conversation to reiterate his point and mount additional kudos onto his wife, Ashley, who she’s apparently had to defend against her own son.
In the midst of all the controversy, this is what Sean’s wife said about the whole thing and all the backlash the couple received from the original post.
What do you make of Sean’s apology?