Breaking Up With A Guy Who All Your Friends Hated
Breaking up is never easy to do, but breaking up with a guy your friends hated the whole time is particularly challenging. You think it would be easy—you think your friends would throw a parade for you the moment you announced, “I left him!” But the reality is that, you have probably put your friends through enough already. If you dated a man who they really couldn’t stand, that means you forced them to hang out with him. It also means that—to be honest—the guy wasn’t great (your friends are intuitive, after all), so your relationship was probably turbulent. Translation: your friends have been coaching you through fights in this relationship and taking your teary-eyed calls for too long. By the time the breakup came, they were just exhausted. Here is what it’s like breaking up with a guy your friends hate.
If it’s a repeat breakup, they’re out of sympathy
If you’ve broken up several times before, they just can’t feel sorry for you anymore. You get sympathy for one breakup per guy. Beyond that, your friends are just thinking that you’ve already been through this. And so have they.
In fact, they may not even believe it’s over
Also, if this is a repeat breakup, then your friends may not even flinch when you tell them it’s over. They’re thinking, “Yeah right—you’ll go back to him, just like you did in the past. We’ll be there for you when you when you finally marry somebody else.”
If you were secretly together, you’re all alone now
It’s quite possible that, since your friends hated this guy so much, you never let them know how serious the relationship was. OR that you got back together with him after the last breakup. If that’s the case, then you can’t even tell them about it, and you have to act like nothing is wrong.
You got your girls nights during the relationship
Typically, after a breakup, you get a girls’ night when all of your friends gather around you and hand you tissues while you cry and vent. But your friends gave you plenty of those during the relationship (because it sucked) and just don’t have it in them anymore.
You have all their revelations, late
You realize and say all these things about him…and your friends aren’t shocked at all. They already knew all of that. They aren’t impressed that you figured it out; they’re unimpressed that it took you this long.
But really—they were right about a lot
And boy do you realize how right they were about a lot of things. You’re starting to feel pretty dumb for defending him so many times.
You kind of have to apologize
You realize you owe your friends a huge apology. Only now, in retrospect, do you realize how insufferable your ex’s personality was. And you made your friends hang out with him.
They don’t trust your future judgment
When you tell your friends you’ve met someone new, they don’t get excited—they become worried. After the last guy, you’ve really made them doubt your judgment.
If they catch you talking to him…
If your friends catch you so much as sending one text to that ex, they may give up on you entirely. They’re not going to help you if you’re not going to help yourself.
They don’t want to analyze
You want to sit around and analyze the relationship—what went wrong, what you could have done differently—but they don’t. They already did that behind your back.
They’ll unleash their wrath
Your friends will really tell you what they thought of your ex and it isn’t pretty. You thought you had their honest opinion before, but now they’re really letting it out.
They may act like nothing happened
To your friends, today, a burden was lifted. Nothing sad happened. This is not a tragedy. It’s just finally the end of some bullsh*t.
Brunch can’t be about you
You don’t get to talk about it as much as you’d hoped. Why? Because it was a bad relationship and as such you already spoke about it too much.
You may have already lost friends
You may have already lost some friends throughout this relationship. Maybe they tried to show you the error of your ways with this guy, and you shut them out. You should probably go find them…
You vow to listen to them next time
Let’s be real: if most of your friends dislike your boyfriend, he’s probably not right for you. Your friends—who’ve known you for years—know what’s best for you.