How Happy Couples Share Household Chores
When you live with your partner, you suddenly have to have a whole series of conversations you never had to have before you lived together. When you had separate homes, you had the luxury of having mostly fun, light, playful, humorous, and sexy conversations. Those are the best kinds, right? Well, when you move in together, you are forced to have practical, mind-numbing, tedious, and downright boring conversations—conversations about things like which toilet paper brand has a better sheet-per-roll price, how many inches from the curb you should place the recycling bin, and whether you’re going to compost or just throw out produce rinds. And in order to be a happy couple, you have to find a way to have those conversations and still have the fun, playful, flirty, funny ones. The balancing act tears some couples apart. Here is how happy couples share household chores.
Deadlines are loose but understood
Happy couples don’t necessarily have hard and fast rules about dates and times chores have to happen. They have more loose rules like, “We should clean the floors about twice a month.” They both respect those guidelines, so very specific deadlines aren’t necessary.
They don’t micromanage
They pretty much accept however their partner gets the job done. They don’t check each other’s work, or give feedback (unless something is terribly wrong).
They make accommodations for stressful times
Happy pairs understand that sometimes life gets hectic and they just won’t get to this or that chore within the usual time frame. They don’t hold each other to time frames when they know there are much more important and stressful tasks at hand.
They always say thank you
Healthy couples thank one another for doing their chores, even though it’s their jobs. Showing a little appreciation goes a long way in keeping one another motivated to keep up the good work.
They choose the tasks they’re best at
Rather than assign arbitrary tasks, happy couples talk about what each person is best at and enjoys doing the most. They divide and conquer chores that way.
They use words, not charts
When communication is good and the trust is there, happy couples don’t need charts to stay on track of chores. They just use their words and say things like, “We should clean the bathrooms this week, yeah?” and that’s enough.
They may have a chore day
If there is one way happy couples stick to deadlines and specific dates it might just be through having a big chore day every week or every couple of weeks. On this day, they both agree to make no other plans but to do their chores. That way, it can be out of their minds until then, and after then for a while.
They chit chat while cleaning up
Happy couples generally enjoy each other’s company, so they chit chat while they do their chores. Conversation with each other makes the chores go by faster, and not feel so tedious.
They pick up one another’s (small) slack
If one person finds that the other forgot to do a small thing pertaining to their chore—like left a few utensils dirty—they just finish it. They don’t track down their partner and point out the work. They know that will take longer than just doing it themselves.
They consider schedules
They think about their schedules and lifestyles. So, for example, maybe the person with the very early, rushed mornings shouldn’t be in charge of the things that need to happen in the morning (like walking the dog). That task is better suited for the person with the less hectic mornings.
They play music
Happy couples find ways to make chores fun. They play music. They dance around. They do it in their underwear. They stop to kiss if they meet in the middle of the kitchen while cleaning it.
If it’s for the pet or the child, all bets are off
They don’t argue about whose turn it is or job it is when the task pertains to a child or pet’s needs. They have a mutual understanding that whoever is available to help the child or pet when he needs something just does it.
If they have free time, they just tackle each other’s chores
If one person in the happy couple finds they have an unexpected chunk of free time, out of the goodness of their heart, they’ll just do their partner’s chore. Why not? It’s a nice, easy gift they can give their busy partner. They don’t refrain because it’s “Not their job.”
They don’t let it affect date night/fun time
No matter what chores weren’t finished or done correctly, they don’t let that ruin their date night or fun time. In other words, they don’t let any discontent about chores bleed into bonding time.
Nobody acts like the boss
No person ever speaks to the other like they’re their boss. It’s a partnership. It’s teamwork. Nobody is in charge because everyone trusts everyone to take charge.