MadameNoire Featured Video young woman resting on her bed

I’ve fought a lifelong battle with insomnia, but until about five years ago, it was only my battle. What changed? I got into a serious relationship and moved in with that partner. Suddenly, my insomnia started to affect somebody else. Before I lived with my boyfriend, I could hide the effects of my problem. I might stay at his apartment one night, remain awake the entire night, stay perky long enough for breakfast, and then go home to my place where I’d finally get some sleep…around 10 in the morning. (The freelance life allows for this, but it isn’t exactly my preference). But once I moved in with my partner, all of the bad stuff that comes with insomnia—the irritable disposition, the depression, the forgetfulness—started to affect him. And I realized I needed to finally try to treat this problem. Here is how my insomnia nearly killed my relationship.

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I would be pushy about bedtime

If I didn’t fall asleep during a brief window of time in which I was sleepy, I wouldn’t sleep the whole night. So I’d demand we stop what we were doing—turn off the movie only 30 minutes in or leave the party—so I could go to bed on time. My bedtime dictated my partner’s schedule, and he hated it.

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