I’m in love with a nut. He’s a total nut. Our kitchen table is an old diner booth—literally plucked from a diner that was closing down—that he bought off a man who was moving in with a woman, who wouldn’t let him keep it. The story just broke my boyfriend’s heart (you never know what will break a nut’s heart) so he coughed up $300 for it, and now dinnertime in our home feels like a scene from a 1950s movie. I wouldn’t have it any other way. When we go hiking, out to bars, or anywhere it’s hard to use a restroom, he scouts out secret (unconventional) locations for me to take a pee. And he stands guard while I do it. Nothing about my life with my nut feels rigid, routine, or suffocated. It’s so wonderful. I definitely recommend spending your life with a mild lunatic. Here is why you should marry someone nutty.
He won’t have an insecure bone
Nuts don’t tend to have one insecure bone in their body. And that’s great because it’s usually peoples’ insecurities that are at the source of things like being controlling, jealous, and possessive. A nut will just ask you, “Are you leaving me for that guy? No. K, cool” and move on with the night. He won’t silently fester in jealousy and let it manifest itself in destructive ways.