Silly And Sad Moments You Experience When You’re Single For The Holidays
We’re not going to say that being single during the holidays is all bad. There are plenty of awesome things about the holiday season that anybody can enjoy, single or not, like the spiked eggnog that shows up at the grocery store, the holiday cocktail hour at work, the tradition to drink hot spiced rum for breakfast at your mom’s house…Oh. These are all about alcohol, aren’t they? Whoops! Nonetheless, it’s obviously a magical season that you don’t need a partner for. But the rest of the world doesn’t seem to have gotten the memo. Everywhere you look around the holidays, there is something that seems to be created for lovers and it’s just awkward when you try to partake. Here are sad, silly, and true moments you experience when you’re single for the holidays.
Getting the office sofa at your mom’s house
The couples need the bedrooms, she says. And your cousins with all the kids need the entire basement to themselves, your mom insists. And so, there you are, sleeping on the sofa in the office—the office that your mom needs to get into at 7am, so she walks in on you sleeping naked, “Gilmore Girls” reruns still open on your laptop and three beer bottles tucked beside the bed.
Nobody to cheers
That moment when everybody cheers with their loved one or date at the party—you don’t have that. You cheers the air. You’ve cheersed the dog before, or a painting nearby.
“Nope—this cologne is for my dad”
Any time you buy a gift for a man—from a pair of boxers to cologne—the salesperson asks you, with a little playful tone in her voice, “Is this for a special someone?” Yup—my dad.
Seeing the relatives you see once a year
Then there are those relatives you only see once a year and you need to tell them that, no, your relationship status hasn’t changed in the last 365 days. (I mean there are a few people you dated for like two months and things ended weirdly…one with a threesome…but they don’t need to know that).
Being alone in the grossly romantic photos
Your mom means well, but she keeps asking you to pose for a photo in front of the fireplace, in front of the gorgeous view of the mountains, and in front of things that it looks sad to pose in front of by yourself.
Riding with a stranger on the ski lift
Ski lifts aren’t friendly devices for single people. If you do go on a ski trip with your friends, you better believe your couple friends will pair off on their gondolas while you’re stuck babysitting some stranger’s child on yours.
Getting the bunk bed in the cabin
Your friends rented a big cabin for a mountain trip! Yay! They say there are enough rooms for everyone! Yay! They didn’t mention that one of those rooms contains bunk beds—it’s a child’s room—and you’ll be sleeping in it because the couples claimed the regular rooms.
Shoveling your own damn snow
Not that a woman can’t shovel her own damn snow, but there comes a moment when you’ve been shoveling for a half hour, fall on your butt on a patch of ice, and think, “Winter hates single women.”
You’re thankful for…your best friend, Maggie
During the Thanksgiving meal, when everyone goes around and says what they’re thankful for, people tend to mention their boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, and children. You’re grateful for your best friend—she’s awesome. And Amazon Prime.
When you take care of yourself during flu season
Nothing like driving yourself to the grocery store and standing in line, sniffling, to pick up your own soup when you’re sick.
When did holiday music become love songs?
For some reason, every modern holiday song is now a love song. There are no normal holiday songs left. Each one is some sexy little number by Taylor Swift that has little to do with Christmas and a lot to do with some Santa-themed striptease.
People feeling sorry for you
Ugh. You don’t even feel very sorry for yourself but you have to tolerate people feeling sorry for you. People come out of the woodwork, calling and asking if you have plans for the holidays—hoping you’re not entirely alone with a bag of chips for New Year’s Eve.
When one other single person shows up
If there’s one thing worse than one single person at the holiday party it’s two single people. You don’t mind when you have nobody to talk to—you can hover over the buffet—but you feel obligated to talk to the other single person.
Ice skating by yourself
Ice skating alone looks very creepy. And sad. It’s especially sad when you fall and have to pick yourself back up.
Entering the party solo
You can just feel everyone’s eyes fall on you. People are wondering, “Who is she going to talk to? She didn’t bring a plus one!” You, also, are wondering who you’re going to talk to.