Love Lessons To Teach Your Teenage Son
Everybody needs time to learn lessons in love and life. Some lessons can only be learned through experience. But, there’s extensive evidence that women mature quicker than men—particularly emotionally. And during those years when men are emotionally catching up to women, they can cause girlfriends and women they date a lot of pain. If you have a teenage son, you almost have a responsibility to teach him a thing or two about love and how to handle relationships. Okay—you do have that responsibility. If you can do your part to have a few less heartbreakers, players, and ghosters on the street, you just have to. And look: boys will be boys and your teenage son, as a right of passage, has to go out there and make some mistakes. But maybe you can prevent some of the worst ones. Here are love lessons to teach your teenage son.
You don’t have to flex your muscles to get attention
Men don’t need to be the loudest, strongest, richest, or most aggressive to get the girl. In fact, those qualities denote great insecurities and compensation for some hidden flaws.
At least not the attention of quality women
Okay so flexing might attract the attention of some women, but not the quality ones. Intelligent, mature women just find men who show off to be obnoxious and inaccessible. And remember that if you attract a woman by showing off, then you’ll always have to put on a show to keep her around—that’s exhausting.
If it feels like an overreaction, be kind and gentle
If you ever feel like your partner is being extremely emotional and overreacting, here’s a little secret: she probably is. And that’s okay! She’s only human! But you’re not supposed to tell her she is overreacting while she’s in the middle of overreacting. You’re supposed to be kind and gentle and make her feel validated in her feelings. You can have a more back and forth conversation later when she’s calmed down. (Don’t say that last thing out loud to her either).
Don’t pretend to want a relationship to get sex
Do not pretend that you want a relationship with a woman just so you can have sex with her. This always ends in disaster. Plus, there are women out there who are up for a casual, sex-only thing. Just find them and everyone will win.
Don’t accept gifts and nice gestures if you’re not interested
If a woman is doing favors for you and giving you presents, she likes you. And while those favors and presents are nice, don’t accept them if you don’t like her in return.
Keep your sexcapades to yourself
Don’t talk to your friends about your sexcapades. Okay, talk to your best friend whom you trust—you have to learn tricks on how to please women somehow, and maybe you and your buddy can swap stories. But be very private and selective about whom you talk to about your sex life. Honestly, you could benefit from talking to a female friend.
Never bash a woman for rejecting you
You know that awful, burning in your chest feeling you get when a woman turns you down for a date or even dumps you? Yeah—that’s not her problem. Don’t project that onto her with a bunch of yelling, social media bashing, and name-calling. Those are your negative feelings you need to contend with on your own (or with friends).
Put yourself in your partner’s shoes
Any time you do, well, pretty much anything in a serious relationship, put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Yes, your friend’s party would be fun and, no, technically nothing bad happened to your partner today—she is just feeling depressed—but do you really think you should bail on her for the bash? How do you think that would make her feel? (That’s just one of millions of situations you’ll encounter).
Being vulnerable makes you strong
Stating when you feel sad, insecure, jealous, or hurt doesn’t make you weak—it makes you strong! In fact, it stops you from doing the dumb and embarrassing things you do to cover up those emotions.
Relationships can be a gift
Relationships take time, yes, but don’t be one of those narcissistic, career-obsessed, ego-driven men who won’t make time for one because he thinks relationships just get in the way of him ruling the world. A good relationship energizes you, gives you confidence, and helps you towards your goals.
But don’t let them be your whole life
All the above being said, a relationship shouldn’t be your whole life. You should still go after your goals. If your relationship requires so much attention, just to survive, that you let the other areas of your life fall apart, then that’s a bad relationship. Remember: only healthy relationships lift you up.
It’s not all about you
In order to make a relationship work, you usually have to ask yourself, “What action will make both of us as happy as possible?” Sometimes, that action won’t be the thing that makes you, as an individual, the happiest. But, when you and your partner are happy together, it actually feels better than doing something that makes you selfishly happy, but would make your partner unhappy. Look, just try one night seeing the movie you want to see that your partner hates—just see how much you wind up enjoying yourself (Hint: you won’t).
In a good relationship, nobody is the boss
It should never feel like your partner is the boss of you or you’re the boss of your partner. Everyone should feel that they have equal power, and are allowed to state their needs and demands at any time.
It’s okay to not have sex for a while
Don’t give into the idea that you’re not a “real man” if you’re not having sex on a regular basis, whether that’s as a single individual or a man in a relationship. Believing that just causes you a headache and drama.
You’re not entitled
No woman out there owes you anything (besides common decency). A woman doesn’t owe you sex or even a kiss because you bought her a very expensive dinner—she didn’t make you buy that dinner. A woman doesn’t owe you a conversation because you bought her a drink.