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They say you should keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Perhaps the frenemy was born out of that line of thinking. A frenemy receives the privileges and insights of both friends and enemies. You confide in a frenemy the way you do a good friend, and then that frenemy can use the information you give them to act as an enemy. Frenemies are truly one of the most dangerous types of characters in your life. In a perfect world, people who mean you harm would be upfront about it. Well, in a perfect world there wouldn’t be anybody who meant you harm. But, fortunately, for the most part, many selfish, ill-meaning individuals out there aren’t smart enough to conceal their agenda. The frenemy is dangerous because she’s smart and she can misdirect your attention. Here are signs of a frenemy.

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She plants doubt in your head

When you’re excited about a plan—a plan to ask for a promotion, or ask a guy out—your frenemy plants doubt in your head. She subtly reminds you of the things that could go wrong. She makes you feel insecure about your plan, under the guise of “Just protecting you.” Really, she doesn’t want you getting the things you want in life.

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