Why You Should Never Fake An Orgasm

October 25, 2017  |  
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Gettyimages.com/Portrait of young couple lying on bed

The fact is that women fake it. A lot. There are plenty of reasons we do it. Sometimes we just want sex to be over—not necessarily because it’s unpleasant or terrible, but rather because we know our own bodies, we know we aren’t going to orgasm, and we’d like to get on with our days. We know that men (the polite ones, at least) often try to wait for us to finish before they do. So when we fake it, that gives them the green light to do their thing. But is faking it the right way to speed things along? And ultimately, is it possible that we’re doing more harm than good to our relationships, and sex at large, by putting on this vocal show? Here are reasons you should never fake an orgasm.

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He’ll keep doing those same moves

If your partner thinks that what he is doing is working then he’ll keep doing those exact same things. How does a lifetime of that sound? Not great, right?

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It’s a lie, and lies create distance

When you fake an orgasm, you have lied to your partner, and lies create distance. The more times you fake an orgasm, the more emotionally distant you’ll feel from your partner.

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See what he’d do if you just…didn’t

It’s important for you to see what your partner does if he realizes you’re not going to orgasm. Does he just finish up and leave you hanging? Or does he do everything it takes to get you there?

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You’re missing out on the real thing, which is bonding

If you fake it, then your partner has no motivation to try to get you to actually orgasm, during that sex session. As far as he knows, you already did. So then you don’t get to orgasm at all, and you miss out on the bonding chemicals that come from orgasm.


When you actually orgasm, it’ll sound different

Nobody can really replicate their own orgasms. So, when you do actually orgasm, your partner will realize you sound very different from those other times (the fake ones) and he’ll be onto you.

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You’ll lose interest

If you keep faking it, he’ll never get better, and then you’ll start to lose interest in sex altogether. That can’t be good for your relationship.

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He doesn’t need you to so he can finish

If you’re worried that your partner just won’t be able to finish if you don’t, that’s simply not true. He’s a man. He’s been ready to finish since the first thrust. Stop worrying about him.

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If he ever found out, he’d be devastated

If your partner ever found out that you’ve been faking it, he’d be devastated. He’d never trust one of your orgasms again. He’ll wonder what else you lie about—liking the birthday gift he gave you? Liking his best friend?


You’re doing womankind a disfavor

If you’re not in a serious relationship with a man and you fake it, then you’re just sending him out into the world to keep performing those moves on other women. Why are you doing that to those women?

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As if he’d ever forego an orgasm

Your partner would never forego his own orgasm, just so you could have yours. That just wouldn’t happen. So why are you making a sacrifice for him that he’d never make for you?

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It falsely boosts his ego

Men don’t have ego problems. Well they do: their egos are too big. Don’t increase their egos falsely. Don’t fake orgasms.


He’s going to pass his moves onto his friends

He’s going to go tell his friends how much you love all the things he does in bed. As far as he knows, you do! And then his friends will try those moves on their partners. You’re spreading bad sex to poor, unsuspecting women everywhere.

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You’d never leave him hanging

If you’re worried that your partner won’t do anything to help you out, think about this: you’d never leave him hanging. You keep going until he finishes. You want to be with somebody who wouldn’t leave you hanging, either.


It might make you think about cheating

If you continue to have unsatisfying sex with your partner, you might start thinking about cheating. I’m not saying you’d cheat—but you’d think about it. And that feels like cheating.


He doesn’t want you to

Your partner doesn’t want you to fake it. He (hopefully) genuinely wants you to orgasm. He probably has no problem receiving a little direction in the bedroom. He won’t get upset if you just give him some tips.

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