From YourTango.com

By Nancy Slotnick

It happens when you least expect it. That’s what they say anyway. But I was always expecting it. And it still happened for me. It didn’t happen how I expected it. I met my husband on the street. When I was single, I had opened a dating Café with the idea in mind that necessity is the mother of invention. I had imagined that the right guy would just walk through the doors one day. But it wasn’t happening. So I set out to look outside my Café and take matters into my own hands. I met my husband within 2 weeks of that.

But my story is not typical, I know. Many people swear by the “least expect it” story. Here’s one example from this week’s post on the Matchmaker Café fan page:

@Britta Alexander: It was for me! I finally gave up on finding the one, moved into a loft in Brooklyn, practiced my violin day and night, and my future husband was listening to me through the walls. Turns out he was the roommate on the other half of the shared loft. So there’s a strategy: just move around and live with complete strangers!

So I tried to analyze the common denominator of these seemingly contradictory philosophies and here’s what I conclude. It depends how you expect it. If you have too much negative attention on it (i.e. why isn’t happening?!? I have such bad luck with dating!! ☹) then it can’t happen. If you feel entitled to meeting someone but are not doing the work on yourself, it can’t happen. If you are so busy working that your Cablight is not on, (like I was) then it can’t happen.

Read about how love can happen when you least expect it on YourTango.com.

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Source: wchbnewsdetroit.com

From yourtango.com

By Arlene R. Taylor

Jaylee made her way slowly across my office and into a chair. As she began to tell her story, silent tears coursed down her face and fell onto hands clasped tightly in her lap. Here is Jaylee’s story:

Several years before, Jaylee had returned home early from a meeting to discover her husband in bed with the babysitter. “I have tried to get over it,” she said. “We got a new bed and redecorated the room. We went to counseling. I have tried everything, but nothing has worked. Every time I look at him all I can see in my mind is the two of them in our bed amidst disheveled sheets.”

Read more at yourtango.com

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From yourtango.com

By Kait Smith

College movies always make college girls look so debauched.

You know what I mean — casual sex, chicks kissing chicks, and, of course, that whole Girls Gone Wild thing. Typically we take these fictional portrayals of young adult women with grains of salt; sure, some may use college as a chance to explore, but not everyone thinks of college as one huge sex romp, right?

Right. HerCampus.com, an online community for college women, recently conducted a massive survey of more than 2,500 collegiate females between ages 17 and 23. They found that although these women are curious about their sexuality, they’re not exactly going out and getting laid every weekend.

Read some interesting stats about the ways of college women at yourtango.com

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Source: womensthougths.wordpress.com

From yourtango.com

By Wendy Kay

Sometimes the truth hurts, but it also sets you free to choose to act differently. The truth also gives you the freedom to get help when you know help is available. Addiction is not a pretty disease and it affects the entire family.

Children are the victims of the alcoholic or addicted parent. Imagine being a child whose parent is more interested in a substance than caring for and raising you. Imagine the inappropriate behaviors and responses in daily life of the person who is under the influence of a mind-altering chemical. The child doesn’t know what is real or right.

The child knows what anger and sadness are. She also knows what neglect and abandonment are through physical and/or emotional absence. They witness lying, violence, aggression, desperation and worse. They know what hurt and pain feel like and what it’s like to be alone is like. Children are the true victims of living in the chaotic dysfunction brought on by addiction.

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Source: bossip.com

From yourtango.com

By Christy Goldstein

We all have one person we just can’t get over, and there’s usually no clear reason why that particular person has a hold on us. Some say it is a past-life connection, while others say it is because we finally had a connection with someone that we hadn’t had with anyone in a long time. Due to this connection, we hold onto that person longer than we should just because we do not want to lose that feeling we once had.

There isn’t an official “getting over your ex” handbook. But, what I have done in my past is burn or throw away everything that reminded me of my ex. I also have removed my exes from Facebook. With Facebook being so prevalent in everyones lives, it is necessary to not be friends with an ex at the start of a breakup.

Read more at yourtango.com

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From YourTango.com

By Dr. Susan Heitler

If having an affair is the last thing you want to do, you better heed these six warnings signs. They indicate that you are heading down a slippery slope. One more step could be too late to prevent a disaster.

1. A call from an old friend. A phone call from an old flame? How risky! As one fellow explained to me, “When she contacted me via LinkedIn, there was a sense of titillation, and then she continued to reach out to me.”

The moral of the story: If you don’t want to catch fire, stay far from the sparks. They are fun and often prove too dangerous to be worth the mini-delights of minor sexual pleasures. The two highest risk categories for dangerous connections are old flames and current business associates, especially ones that you spend a lot of time with

2. A fragile relationship situation. When a relationship or marriage feels frustrating it can be all the more tempting to slide into connecting with someone who seems easily kind, easy to talk with or appreciative of you. Have you two communicated effectively about the blockages to smooth sailing with each other? If not, it’s time to start!

3. Hiding that you are already taken. If in the course of our talking with a lovely person of the opposite sex, you find yourself avoiding mention of the fact that you have a stead or are married, you are heavily already into the danger zone. Beware especially because as sexual feelings toward a new person grow, your recollections of how and why you chose that person as a mate will fade.

That’s because of the nature of old versus new sexual feelings and new potential sexual partners virtually always evoke more intense sexual feelings. That says nothing about how good a match they could be for you; it’s just a biochemical thing about how sexuality works. New trumps familiar — but for sex only. Intense sexual appeal only though does not a good match make.

Check out the other three signs on YourTango.com.

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From YourTango.com

If I recall anything from my upbringing, it’s the following two rules: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all,” and “Remember to always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.” It’s not only great life advice so you can trick people into thinking you’re a civilized human being, but it will also help you maintain healthy relationships with others, especially those with whom you’re in a committed sexual relationship. In other words, show some appreciation, will ya? Seriously, would it kill you to thank your fella for dinner, dessert and the following orgasm? I think not.

A study by the smarty-pants at University of California, Berkeley found that the simple act of thanking someone when you’re in a relationship goes a long way. About 50 undergrads between the ages of 18 and 60 (yup, I guess some undergrads are 60), who had been dating their partner for a year or more (about half of them were living together), were given a nightly survey to fill out for an entire week regarding such things as basic manners. Researchers collected the data and nine months later, gave the same couples the same survey. Those who felt appreciated were far less likely to break up. The mutual love and respect gets stronger if you just say “thank you” from time to time.

Read more on this study and the power of saying thank you on YourTango.com.

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123rf.com

You have Googled, planned, phoned and negotiated, finalized reservations and even purchased Hot undergarments for yourself and your companion. But have you forgotten the most important ingredient for the most romantic time of your life? Do you know what that important ingredient might be?

The answer is attitude. Attitude is affected by your energy and the way you feel. Will you feel on-edge or free-flowing, vibrant and Hot? It all comes down to attitude. Lets have a closer look at how your attitude can affect your romantic vacation. Traveling Solo? How To Meet Men On Vacation EXPERT

1. Remember: You are responsible for your own happiness. I am sure this is not earth shattering news to you, but you would be surprised at how many people embark on romantic trips expecting their partners to make them happy. If you want to make yourself happy and enjoyable to be around, it is a good idea to leave your judgments and criticisms at home. We are all wired in a way that allows us to let go of upsetting thoughts. Focus on what you appreciate about your surroundings and take your focus away from what you do not like.

For more tips on how to enjoy your vacation visit yourtango.com

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From YourTango.com

By Dr. Megan Fleming

Are you single? Having doubts about monogamy? After all, how is it possible for one person to meet all of your relationship needs?

“The idea that one person can meet all of your needs,” says Dr. Fleming, “I totally agree, is not necessarily reasonable or true. We are so unique and diverse in our interests and our passions that it doesn’t make sense that one person is going to sustain and fulfill all those needs.”

See what else Dr. Fleming has to say about how realistic monogamy is on YourTango.com.

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.com

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From YourTango.com

By. JohnGray, PhD

What’s worse than getting caught up in your own personal drama? Getting caught up in somebody else’s personal drama.

So, what would you do if a close confidante confided in you that she was cheating on her husband? As her friend, you might feel obliged to keep it a secret. After all, she implicitly asked you not to tell a soul. Eventually, however, you might be overcome by guilt and wonder whether you should tell her spouse about her infidelity.

See what Dr. Gray has to say about this situation on YourTango.com.

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