Image: iStockphoto

Everyone has had a boss from hell.

There are ways to deal with any boss when you disagree with their managerial methods. “The key is for employees to try to see what the boss sees from the boss’s eyes/perspective. What does the boss really love about their job? Try to help them with the tasks they don’t enjoy. What annoys the boss about managing people? Then, don’t do it. What do they value most? Do it,” says workplace expert Nancy Stampahar, owner of Silver Lining Solutions. “If the boss is arrogant and takes credit for [your] work, don’t take it personally!  Play the game by telling him things like how you couldn’t have done it without him.  Be certain to document all of your work in the event you need to prove your contributions.”

And try to get to know you boss better without getting “too buddy-buddy,” Stampahar suggests.

Fast Company magazine just compiled a few tips on how to handle horrible bosses. According to the article there are three types of bad bosses:

The micromanager: “A micromanager plays an overly large role in the projects of his or her subordinates. Instead of letting them use their own judgment, the boss makes every decision or dictates every step to take…,” explains Fast Company.  “If you think your boss is a micromanager, first make sure that he or she isn’t merely responding to your own poor performance… In that event, try to regain your boss’s confidence through a small project.” But if you boss micromanages everyone, it is a good idea to discuss this problem with your boss. Your boss may not even realize they are micromanaging and not allowing you to do your work. “Many micromanagers have an underlying fear that something will go wrong if anyone is given managerial discretion. You can address this fear by frequently sharing information throughout the course of a project,” advises the article.

The neglecter:  Then there is the opposite of the micromanager. A boss you doesn’t get involved at all — gives no feedback, opinion on decisions or projects. It’s like they’re not there. This leaves employees always guessing as to what the boss wants or needs. “To fix this problem, you’ll have to be very assertive to get your boss’s attention. If you receive an assignment with unclear goals, ask for clarification right then and there,” suggests Fast Company.

The yeller: Other bosses think the way to manage is through abuse. They yell, threaten and belittle. They want to instill fear in the team. Detach yourself, states the magazine. “The boss’s unacceptable behavior has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with his or her own problems, which you can’t fix,” writes. Try and understand what trigger this behavior and avoid these triggers. If you can’t deal, it may be time to look for another job.

This style isn’t in the slideshow, but how amazing is her hair? Image: iStockphoto

Oh… the many beautiful possibilities of natural hair. Some women might get a little nervous about indulging their passion for natural hair because of the office reaction. Black Enterprise showcases four women — an attorney, a marketing executive, a tech consultant and an HR specialist — who rock their natural styles in corporate environments.

“I used to be apprehensive about going natural because I thought it would be a problem in the workplace, but I’ve found that I can be creative and professional. And I lots of [compliments], too!” says Dawnelle Owens a technical coordinator consultant from Bronx, NY.

Click here to see the slideshow on Black Enterprise. Are you seeing more natural in the workplace?

Image: Thinkstock

It’s tough to say “no” to your boss. But sometimes it’s necessary. Of course, you should usually try to accommodate the needs of your manager, but at other times it is actually more appropriate to refuse, says Susan Wilson Solovic, author of It’s Your Biz and CEO/co-founder of SBTV.com, small business TV network available on the Web. Why say no?  Because it is important to set boundaries — even with your boss.

“You should always say no to your boss when he or she is asking you to do something illegal or unethical. Otherwise, it’s difficult to refuse to do what your boss asks you to do. You may not always agree with the course of action he/she is taking, but that doesn’t give you the latitude to outright refuse to do the work,” Solovic tells us.

It is also okay to turn down an unreasonable request. Imagine your boss asks you to finish a report in too short a period of time. In order to do a good job at the task at hand, you will need to tell your boss you can’t meet his deadline. But explain your reasons and ask for more time, advises MSN Careers.

“Bosses like people who disagree with them because many feel as though a healthy debate is a good way to come to the best conclusion,” Solovic points out. “But the boss is the captain of the ship and once his/her decision has been made, saying no may be viewed as insubordination and could ultimately cost you your job. So it’s important to understand when the line has been drawn in the sand. Choose your battles wisely.”

Keep calm when saying no. “It’s important (and wise) not to get emotional or angry,” suggests Solovic.

The best way to say no to your boss, according to Solovic:

1)    Against the law: If your boss is asking you to do something you believe is illegal or unethical, then you must be confident enough to explain your reasoning. Back up your position with factual information such as an employee handbook or a copy of a particular law. Under the circumstances, you should inform him/her that you plan to report the request.

2)    Impossible overtime: If you boss asks to you to come in over the weekend to finish a project but your daughter is playing in her first regional volleyball tournament, then explain your situation and offer to stay late the following week to ensure the work is completed.

3)    Above your pay grade: Sometimes you can say no to your boss when you feel the work is out of the scope of your responsibilities and expertise. Once again, make sure you are prepared to completely explain your rationale. You don’t want to be viewed as someone who isn’t a team player.

thinkstockphotos.com

by Jessica Gray

I am the only Black woman at my job.

Of course, this means me and my massive hair stick out that much more, especially when the last Black woman to work here wore her hair flat-ironed mercilessly straight.

I’ve been here for almost two years and the hair questions have not stopped. In fact, they seemed to have increased, possibly because my co-workers have gotten to know me and feel more comfortable asking all of those questions they’ve been harboring since the day they met me. Now I know that I blog and tweet about natural hair like nobody’s business, but that is directed at other women with natural hair or those who may be considering going natural. It’s a different set-up when the questions are coming from people whose hair is nothing like yours.

I am starting to feel like a Natural Hair Ambassador to our straighter-haired counterparts.

I can’t say that it always bothers me, although the occasional jerk tries to test me with clearly ignorant questions. It is a little awkward sometimes because I feel like I am under a microscope or on trial. On days when I’m in the mood to keep to myself I may be tempted to ask rude questions back, but I don’t. I smile and appease any inquiring minds. There are some days when I really am not up for it and I excuse myself. I also feel like I cannot afford to ever let a Bad Hair Day make itself known because I am representing all of my kinky-haired sisters. I have to show the naysayers that natural hair does in fact fit the corporate setting, even though I am sure there are those who still dislike my hair no matter how flawless my twist-out may be that day.

One topic that won’t seem to die is whether natural hair is even accepted in the corporate world. Distressed naturals are always voicing their concerns about showing up to an interview with a textured look or asking for advice on “inoffensive” ways to wear their hair to work. Many other women experience similar situations to mine where co-workers can’t seem to hide their curiosity and many are made to feel uncomfortable. Some succumb to the relaxer or hot comb after a while or keep their hair concealed under weaves. Being a Black woman is already enough to make you stand out but having natural hair seems to take the insecurities to another level.

I will say that it is not all bad. There are days when I get a slew of compliments from my co-workers and people tell me they really like my hair, which surprisingly happens WAY more often on my big hair days than my slick, uptight bun days. There’s just this unspoken pressure to be on point at all times and act as the appointed ambassador for all natural hair wearers in every setting where you are the lone curly girl.

Do you ever feel like you’re the ambassador, or representative for other women with natural hair in settings where those who look like you are few and far in-between? How do you deal with being bombarded with questions about your hair?

Jessica Gray is the founder of the natural hair blog HairGetsKinky.com

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Compromise is a hard lesson we begin to learn to understand from childhood. We’re taught to let someone else play with a toy first so we can get to watch TV for one hour, but as we grow older, the stakes for compromising get bigger. Just because you’re told you’ve got to give up a perk or take on extra hours at the office and you said you were ok with it doesn’t mean it’s ok.

When you know that your supervisor has gotten what he/she wants but you’ll be stewing in your desk, there’s got to be some changes made.  You need to learn the art of the negotiation. As Forbes contributor Lisa Gates notes, when it comes to dealing with your workplace success, “compromise is not the goal of negotiation, finding your way to agreement is.” In fact, Gates notes that compromising is simply a potential outcome of negotiating. If you go into a situation hoping to compromise, it will only impair your creative ability for problem solving.

First things first, after all these years of compromising, you may not have actually understood the definition. It’s important to note that compromise is a two-way deal. Each part gives up part of the original request or demand. Compromise involves making concessions, or giving up something that you enjoy, and asking for reciprocity, which is responding to a positive action with another positive action.

Continually giving into demands without negotiating leads to feelings of resentment. The secret to happier agreements lies in concession. Research shows that people are happier when their bargaining partner makes concessions, even if you don’t get everything you wanted out of the negotiation. And this is because satisfaction lies in fair treatment. When you ask for something and get it to easily, you believe there was more you could have gotten. When you ask for something and are flatly denied, you believe the person was purposefully divisive. So before you compromise, first ask your boss questions, brainstorm ideas that will lead to an efficient solution to a problem. Negotiating may get you everything that you wanted, then again it may lead to compromise. In either case, because you negotiated, instead of immediately giving in, you will find that the situation will improve.

I put down the copy of the paper and had one of those moments.  You know, one of those moments when I can hear Kanye’s “racism still alive, they just be concealing it” line ringing in my head.

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