All Articles Tagged "work"

The “I” Word: Are You “Too Independent” For Love?

April 16th, 2015 - By Deja Jones
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Should Love Be 'Postponed'

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As a woman in my early twenties, I work part-time for an education non-profit, freelance as a writer, and I work around the clock to build my own brand as an entrepreneur. It leaves very little room for social activities, except on the weekends. So when it comes to dating and relationships, I often find myself exhausted by the idea of it all. I spent six years in a relationship building with someone and unintentionally neglecting myself, and now as a single woman, I find myself torn between focusing on my career and looking for love.

“How are you going to be able to date with everything you have going on?”

“You don’t seem like you need a man.”

“Is that why you’re single?”

“When will you ever have time for me?”

“You don’t seem like you’re ready for a relationship.”

These are some of the questions and concerns some men have when it comes to women who are branded as being “too independent.” It’s almost like being branded with the scarlet letter. But Black women have always been independent. We’ve been the maids working double shifts to earn extra wages so that we can come home and take care of our family, and we’ve been one-half of a power couple where both parties share equal responsibility both in work and in the household. We’ve done it all, but most of the time, we’ve done it all without much help.

So with that in mind, I can’t help but give a slow eye roll when in 2015 we as women are still being fed that we can’t have it all. The career, love, and the family. Men have rarely had to give up their independence or been forced to choose between family and career, but it seems to be the binary constantly thrown at women. So why are women who are independent stigmatized as not being datable?

After surveying several men, I can’t say that I was surprised by some of the responses I received. Some said that independent women are not datable because of their unwillingness to be submissive. Most of the men I talked to felt that independent women won’t allow them to play their role as men because they are too self-reliant and don’t seem to have a need for men. To be dependent is to be vulnerable, and to them, independent women aren’t interested in that. Men are raised to be the protectors of their family and when a woman gives off the energy and attitude that she doesn’t need them it creates an imbalance in gender roles and dynamics. But on the flipside, there were some men who said they would love to have a woman who is self-sufficient and independent. Some even went as far as to say that they want a woman to take care of them so they wouldn’t even mind if she made more money…

As single men and women, naturally we should want and be able to take care of ourselves. We should be financially, emotionally, and physically healthy before trying to build with anyone. So why is it that women are criticized when they have their stuff together on their own and want a man to have it all together too?

After surveying different women at different stages in their careers, most women with a solid, five-figure salary and career told me they wanted men who had equal or more than them. They all claimed they wanted an interdependent relationship where they shared an equal partnership with their men. So when men say they want a woman to work as many hours as them and still be a homemaker after hours, these ladies weren’t for it. Why can’t he come home and cook too?

For some women, they believe the notion of being too independent to date is an idea created by men to retain whatever bit of machoism they can in a society where women are starting to dominate in most industries. “Date someone who’s manlier” was the suggestion that one woman gave.

Women who are strong, successful and independent should and tend to naturally aspire to be with men who share similar qualities, but on a much higher level. Is she too independent for love? No. She just hasn’t found a man worth compromising for yet, or who will compromise for her. When a woman truly finds herself in love, and the right man, she will have no problem being submissive.

Career Crushing: How To Get Ahead By Treating You Work Life Like Your Love Life

April 3rd, 2015 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Are you in love with your job? Chances are your boss can tell. But what if we all invested in our jobs the way we invest in our relationships. Career crushing might be just the key to getting your career to love you back.

Are Your Co-Workers Leading You Astray? Terrible Career Advice You Should Ignore

January 8th, 2015 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Co-workers may mean well, but that doesn’t mean that you should take career advice from the office buzz. There’s a lot of misinformation out there. If you want to take the right way to the top, here’s the terrible career advice you should ignore.

I Woke Up Like This: How To Get Up In A Good Mood

December 18th, 2014 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock


Is your morning motto “nobody talk to me until I’ve had my coffee?” Being grumpy in the AM doesn’t just ruin every morning.

Recent studies have discovered that morning people are friendlier and more conscientious to others around them.

If you weren’t born with a love of getting up in the morning, we’ve got a few tips that will help you fake the funk until nature takes over.

Ways Employers Discriminate (But Won’t Tell You About)

December 18th, 2014 - By Meg Butler
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Didn’t get called back for a job you swore you were qualified for? Your unemployment could have nothing to do with your skills and everything to do with these ways employers discriminate against potential applicants.

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Image Source: Shutterstock

The Name Game

Black-sounding” names are 50% less likely to get a call back for a job.

Is Your Resume Keeping You From Getting Hired?

November 20th, 2014 - By Meg Butler
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Been hitting the pavement for months but still coming up dry? The problem could be your resume. Everyone knows that spelling errors are a no-no, but is your resume keeping you from getting hired by making these less-obvious mistakes?

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

You’ve Included A Photo Of Yourself

Unless an employer asks for one, including a photo opens you up to ageism, racism and snap judgments from your employer. Leave out the photo and your resume is less likely to get tossed out before it’s read.

15 Simple Morning Rituals That Will Save Your Day

October 17th, 2014 - By Meg Butler
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Can’t seem to reach your goals? Grumpy all day? Feeling “off?” The problem could be the way you start your day. Spare five minutes for these simple morning rituals and you could change your life. After all, you are what you do every day.

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

Wake Up Hella Early

A poll of successful executives found that 90% of them get up before 6 a.m. on weekdays. Those early hours give them time to squeeze out some me-time before the demands of the day start pouring in.

Fired Oklahoma Man Beheads Co-Worker

September 28th, 2014 - By Courtney Whitaker
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According to the New York Daily News, an Oklahoma man stabbed and beheaded one of his former coworkers.

The suspect, Alton Nolen stormed into his place of employment, a food plant on Thursday and attacked multiple people. Nolen stabbed the first victim, Colleen Hufford so hard in the neck that her head was severed. After attacking Hufford, Nolen attacked Traci Johnson next. Johnson was stabbed multiple times by Nolen before an off-duty cop shot him. Moore police officers said,

“This suspect was angry about some sort of incident that happened at the business, these women really had nothing to do with that. He was just acting out against them. They are the first people he came in contact with.”

Nolen was fired right before the initial attack. He drove from the building where he was fired to the main distribution center and attacked.

The FBI is investigating the entire incident. The Daily News believes his recent conversion to Islam may have something to do with the attack. There have been multiple beheadings by Islamist extremists overseas in the last few weeks. However, the newspaper has no real evidence to prove that his new religious background had anything to do with the attacks.

Noel is now in stable condition after being shot by the off duty cop. He will be charged on Monday with first-degree murder, assault and battery with a deadly weapon and possible federal charges.

Signs Your Attitude Is About to Get You Fired

August 18th, 2014 - By Meg Butler
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Man do you hate this job — but are you sure you’re the only one that knows that? If you show up 100% done every day, your boss could be picking up on your major attitude. If you still need your nine-to-five to pay a few more bills, practice your fake smiles before you’re prematurely shown the door.

Signs Your Attitude Is About to Get You Fired

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You Can’t Stand Your Co-Workers

Are you sure those sighs and eye-roll always fly under the radar? Some employees will smile in your face while complaining about your performance behind your back.

Quiz: Which Annoying Coworker Are You?

July 2nd, 2014 - By Brande Victorian
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Source: Shutterstock

Source: Shutterstock

You may not want to admit it — or even be aware of it — but you’re pissing someone off in the office. See we all have a tendency to complain about our coworkers, but the reality is someone is going home and complaining about you as much as you talk about them. So if you want to have a brief moment of self-awareness — and a little accountability. Take this quiz to see which annoying coworker you are.