All Articles Tagged "women"

Hillary Clinton’s New Ad Asks Is Donald Trump The President We Want For Our Daughters?

September 23rd, 2016 - By Veronica Wells
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I’ve been pretty vocal about my skepticism of Hillary Clinton. Still, I’m with her. There’s too much at stake with this election and I fear that a vote for Jill Stein or even those still holding out hope for Bernie Sanders, would be a vote for her opponent, Donald Trump. And that just can not happen. Trump, whether he’s adopted a persona during this election cycle or not, is the absolute worst. And honestly, a threat to this country’s national security. He’s made hateful, disparaging comments against every one from Muslims, to Latinos, to Black folks and perhaps most frequently, women.

It was the latter group that Hillary Clinton advocates for in her most recent campaign ad.

In it, she shows girls of various, ages, sizes and ethnicities looking in the mirror while Donald Trump’s words play in the background.

Words like,

“I’d look her right in that fat, ugly face of hers…”

“She’s a slob.”

“A person who’s flat chested is very hard to be a ten.”

At the end, the ad asks is this the president we want for our daughters.

Pretty powerful, poignant and, as this whole Presidential race has become, terrifying.

 

Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.”

“We Will Change The World” Taraji P. Henson On The Power Of Women Working Together

September 19th, 2016 - By Veronica Wells
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Taraji P. Henson On The Power Of Women Working Together

Source: Instagram

Sadly, a commonly held assumption is that too many women working together is problematic. The thought is that there will be pettiness, bickering, cat fights, jealousy. But, I can tell you from experience that that doesn’t have to be true. When you’re around, mature, women with a common goal, miraculous things can happen.

But don’t take my word for it, (Shout to LeVar Burton.) see what Taraji P. Henson had to say about women uniting.

In promotion for the upcoming film, Hidden Figures, she shared her thoughts, while Octavia Spencer and Pharrell cosigned and encouraged this truth.

“What you will see in this film is that you see women come together and support each other, not cat, claw, fight, hate on each other for one role. But when you embrace each other and you stick together, look what these women were able to accomplish. They would not have been able to accomplish that if Mary hated on anybody in her office. If Mary got at her ego and said, ‘Well, I wanted that job.’ Knowing Katherine was the only mind to do it. If she hated on Katherine, would we be in space? Women gotta understand, we work better together. The power in women sticking together—we will change the world. We will! And until we get that we’re going nowhere.”

Gospel.

As a deacon in my Daddy’s childhood church used to say, “Get right church and let’s go home.”

Veronica Wells is the culture editor for MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.”

Grudges Only Petty Men Hold On To

September 9th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Women are the ones with the reputation for holding grudges. And while it’s true that we remember everything, that doesn’t mean that men don’t hold on to things too, including grudges.

Because men typically aren’t as communicative as women, we tend to think fellas let bygones be bygones, but trust and believe there are things some men never rget, and at some point in your relationship he will let you know he remembers these things.

Breast Myths We’ve All Believed

August 9th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

We’ve all been obsessed with our girls since we got them. Whether we prayed for them to come in, spent hundreds on bras to prop them up, or prayed for gravity to leave them in peace, they’re always on our minds. And maybe that’s why we’ve all heard — and believed — these breast myths at one time or another.

As it turns out, a lot of what we heard about our twins growing up wasn’t right at all. From sleeping in our bras to spending money on plumping lotion, there are a lot of rituals that the following studies want us to throw right out of the window.

Massachusetts Passes Law That’s A Major Step In Women Receiving Equal Pay

August 7th, 2016 - By Ashley Monaé
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

The fight for equal pay for women in the workforce is one that’s been ongoing for decades, but in recent times, there’s been more and more significant strides in making the goal a reality.

It’s already common knowledge that the pay gap is bad for white women, but Black, Hispanic, and Asian women continue to earn even less for the same work, with Black women earning as little as 62 percent on the dollar in some places across the country, as The National Partnership for Women & Families confirms.

Nevertheless, Republican Gov. Charlie Baker has passed a new law banning employers from requesting salary history of potential hires in Massachusetts, CBS Boston reports. Using previous salary information during the course of the selection process has proven time and time again to be unfair to women, allowing them to be paid less than men by default. But with this new law, the cycle of lower salaries for women can no longer continue. But we’re most excited that the law will also require women to receive pay equal to that of men in the same positions as them and vice versa.

In Massachusetts today, women are paid on average about 82 percent of what their male counterparts make for comparable work. While the new law won’t take effect until July 1, 2018, we can only hope that other states will make this issue a priority on their list.

Things The Right Man Will Love About You

June 28th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

When you’re really in love, sometimes you appreciate and adore some of the strangest things about your partner. From there unkempt head to their hammertoe. You don’t necessarily think it’s the best thing since sliced bread, but you can accept and appreciate the most interesting of things. One study actually said that when our feelings get really deep, women even love the way their partner smells after the gym.When you’re head over heels in love, almost everything about your partner is amazing. No matter what it is, you can’t get enough of it. The fact that he loves these things about you, even when you’re not at your best, is a sign that he’s just as sprung on you. Don’t even think about fretting over the following.

Things He’s Least Likely To Be Honest About

May 27th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Women have a reputation for being quick thinkers. By the time he gets out his first “What had happened was,” we’ve got his and our stories straight.

Men are rather famous when it comes to fibbing about where they were and who they are with. But just what else are men likely to lie about?

We’ve polled friends, family, neighbors, play cousins, and checked out actual scientific studies. As it turns out, what you will find on this list are the biggest lies that men tell. Did we miss anything on your list? Or do you see something here that doesn’t belong?

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Their Age

If you’ve ever looked at an online profile and said, “He’s 28? I don’t know about that,” chances are, you were right to be skeptical. Age is one of the profile portions that men are most likely to lie about.

Can You Be Spiritually Connected Without Church?

May 9th, 2016 - By Patia Braithwaite
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Black (Christian) woman praying

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When I was 15, my older cousin took me to a Methodist church in Queens, New York. This cousin, Cousin Kiki, was my Beyoncé: a Biology student in college, she was (and still is) one of the prettiest women I’ve ever seen up close. Beyond that, she was my perpetual ride to the mall, my companion for trashy movies, my sounding board for tweenaged angst, and my chaperone for R&B concerts my parents wouldn’t let me attend alone. Cousin Kiki had all the responsibility of a guardian, yet I was too enamored with her to realize it.

I would’ve gone anywhere she asked, so when she proposed that we go to her church one Sunday afternoon, I was game. I think I was actually excited.

I’m not sure what it was. Maybe it was the music that seemed to come from somewhere beyond vocal chords, or maybe it was the word (long gone from my memory), but I remember being moved to tears. I’d sobbed as the pastor invited those who felt moved to head to the altar. One of the ushers put an arm around me and helped me down the aisle where the pastor prayed over me and some other congregants who felt called. When service was over, I was counseled briefly, asked to put my name on a mailing list, and sent on my way.

I never went back.

Though it felt like a moment of deep connection, I didn’t feel a pull to explore the faith. Cousin Kiki never pushed it. She trusted me when I told her that place wasn’t meant to be my spiritual home. More than 15 years later, I’m still homeless.

According to Pew Research from 2009, 83 percent of African-Americans identify as Protestants/Christians, and one percent as Muslim. I’m among the 17 percent who fit elsewhere. Over the years, as my faith has changed and shifted, I’ve tried to find a traditional church community that felt right. I’ve also explored Buddhist temples and Universalist churches. While the teachings speak to me and the work happening within each congregation is often powerful and transformative, the buildings and people never feel like ‘home.’ The introvert in me doesn’t want to stay for the chat and chew. When volunteer forms float around, I sign up but never attend. Though, to the untrained eye, I must seem like a millennial cherry picker, I am deeply committed to cultivating a spiritual connection with the divine, and being an embodiment of goodness in the world. I’m a person who has done 10-day silent meditations and spends much of her contemplative time in solitude. I have spiritual mentors across many denominations who I can call on for guidance and further study, yet I want to find solace in a single place. I crave the ritual and the connection that comes from having a spiritual home. I am hungry for a physical location and a group of people with whom I can nourish my faith over a lifetime.

Those who are like me often tout the idea that many of the individuals in a church community are NOT overwhelmingly Godly. Though that may be true, it’s also a cop-out. Just as you wouldn’t disown your family because sometimes they aren’t familial, it seems unfair to use the “church people can be messy” argument to disavow the importance of a spiritual home. In a church family you can find intergenerational conversations and community action. You can find in-depth study of ancient texts–and good friends to hit brunch with after service. Mostly, however, I imagine that when one finds a spiritual home, they commit to a sustained and concentrated understanding of their faith.

Maybe that’s what scares me the most. There’s no path that I agree with completely.

While I understand the value of spiritual community and traditional religious paths, I also wish that those who follow traditional paths had more respect for my wandering ways. I wish they understood that spiritual homelessness doesn’t mean soul depravity. Spiritual homelessness does not mean spiritual inferiority. It doesn’t mean that I’m living (too far) against the tenants of the Bible. It simply means the walk in faith is often a lonely journey.

My hope is that, until I find my home, we all meet on this winding road with open hearts.

 

Patia Braithwaite is a God-loving writer in New York City. To learn more about her journey in love, life and spirituality visit: www.menmyselfandgod.com. She also tweets and instagrams when she feels like it: @pdotbrathw8

The One With The Close Guy Friend And Other Women Who Stay Single Longer

April 28th, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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No woman is the same. Some of us had our first kiss in kindergarten; others didn’t have their first kiss until they were getting their pigtails pulled. Many girls developed in middle school and a few were almost on their way to college before finally seeing substantial changes.

Things happen for women at different speeds, and when it comes to relationships, things are no different. Whether it’s because we take more time to find the one or could care less about where he may be hiding, we are all on a different timetable.

Women come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. And thank goodness that in this beautiful world, not all of us are created equal. And some of us are created to stay single longer than others (and sometimes, for the long term).

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Women Who Refuse to Settle

You know what you’re looking for in love (and in life and your career), and you refuse to waste your time with anyone who doesn’t live up to your standards.

Are You Intuitive Or Guarded?

April 28th, 2016 - By Patia Braithwaite
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woman-intuition

Behind closed doors, women whisper to each other about intuition. We say that we have the power to feel the molecules change in a room, and we know when our children are somewhere they shouldn’t be. Our hearts have ears attuned to the dishonesties of silence. This intuition, which I believe rises from somewhere ancient and divine, keeps us safe. Maybe it’s our direct communication with God.

The problem is, however, we misuse it.

Abusing our intuition manifests in two ways. First, we sometimes ignore the still small voice that beckons us toward something better. Secondly, and more often overlooked, we mistake our personal fears and biases as intuition. We use our judgments about things we don’t understand and pretend our “gut” told us to steer clear.

When talking to my best friend over drinks, she confessed feeling a deep level of calm at the pace of her new relationship. She was going super slow, but her new boyfriend worried that she was holding back. The thing was, he wasn’t exactly a new man in her life.  She was in a new relationship with an old lover.

“I don’t know if I’m being guarded or trusting my gut,” she says. “I hope I’m not closed off to love.”

The friend in me wanted to shake her. I wanted to tell her that she needed to trust herself. I knew their history, and I wanted to tell her that her pacing was fine, but deep down inside, I realized that I had my own questions about my intuition. In an effort to be a bit wiser than I was the day before, I find myself slower to act, and I frequently wonder if my discretion is good sense or if I’m not open to new possibilities. I couldn’t give her advice that I couldn’t stand behind, so I just listened. But I was left wondering, how can we tell the difference between our intuition and our caution? It’s an ongoing experiment for me, but here are a few ways I try to keep myself honest:

I journal.  A friend of mine is a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for many years. When rereading his old journals, he discovered that he’d written that he was an alcoholic almost a year before he found himself in recovery. “My journal was the only place I could be honest,” he’d said. I find this is true for myself as well.  Our minds are so chaotic that honest thoughts get mixed in with the noise. If we can find ways to get our thoughts out, we’re more able to see the difference.

I ask friends to listen. Sometimes, when I’m confused, I ask a friend to listen to me and repeat back what she’s hearing. Now, this doesn’t mean your friend is going to give you advice or tell you what she would do.  That’s not what you need. He or she is simply meant to listen to you while you rant, and then report back what they’ve heard you say. Often, our words in someone else’s mouth can bring us clarity“Oh sh*t,” we think as our friends tell us what they’ve heard. “Did I really say that?”

I pray on it. I’m not an overwhelmingly religious person, but I cannot think of a single time when I’ve asked God for guidance and didn’t receive some insight. I am able to live more openly than most because I truly believe that life won’t let me go too far down a path that is ultimately not for me. Granted, this is a two-way street. I try to live my life righteously and do the best for everyone I meet, but ultimately, I can live a little more openly because I know that I don’t walk through this life alone.

Only my friend knows if she’s holding back out of fear or intuition, but when I find myself holding back in the name of emotional danger, I like to remember that I am the descendant of those who survived. I come from a lineage of strong and powerful people, and carry the genes of the strongest of the strong. So often, our caution does a disservice to this strength. We protect ourselves as if we’re more fragile than we are. In the end, only you can decide when something is safe, but my hope is that we can all get closer to our intuition and further away from guardedness so we can love and live more freely every day.

Patia Braithwaite is a New York City-based relationship writer. You can follow her ridiculous tales of love, life, and travel on her personal blog, Men, Myself, and God.  She also tweets and ‘grams whenever the mood strikes her @pdotbrathw8.