Though many try to pretend that we live in a colorblind society; for many people of color, racism is a very real issue. Considering we speak to an audience of black women everyday, we thought we’d ask them to share their racist, ridiculous and hurtful experiences with us. Here’s what they had to say.

Artemis: I was 18 in Zurich, learning to speak German. A guy walks up to me with this sneering smile and said, while touching my hair:

“du bist einen schwarzen schlampe.. ja?”

I understood up until the “schlampe” because I had had no reason to know what that meant until then… when I said I didn’t understand it, he just laughed and muttered it again, then got off the tram.

I asked my uncle (who’s white, he married my mom’s sister) what it meant, and watched him get angrier than I’d ever seen him… and told me to punch anyone who ever did it again in the face and get to his office asap.

MN: Did you ever find out what it meant?

Artemis: “You’re a black Slore? yes?” … My uncle told me … Didn’t hurt, but I was pretty pissed off… this guy was nothing like what “tv” in the islands portrayed racists to look like, he looked “normal,” not a monster that will try to rape you. Heck he didn’t even look like he could take me in a fight… meh… I got over it quickly.

Source: Margaret Doyle

The reproductive debate has been growing in intensity with each new bit of legislation introduced; from laws requiring transvaginal ultrasounds before women can have abortions to requirements over who should fund birth control, to personhood amendments that state rights start the minute sperm fertilizes an egg. For the most part, there have been two faces in this discussion: the white female protesters who will be damned if you take away the rights to procedures they supposedly only need in theory; and the black and Latina female victims who are said to stand to lose the most because they are the ones who need access to family planning services and procedures.

When you look at the facts thrown out about the womb being the most dangerous place for a black child, and then see white abortion rights advocates like Sandra Fluke taking a stand or Margaret Doyle shown here being removed from a General Assembly in Richmond, VA, because she’s so angry over the limiting of reproductive rights, you might ask, like Courtland Milloy did in a Washington Post article yesterday, “what does the white woman really have to be angry about?” As Milloy points out:

“She has the longest life expectancy in the country and, through sheer numbers, dominates the demographic landscape. Her power at the polls is immense. Her risk of falling victim to street crime is low compared with the risk faced by black women. She’s rarely exposed to the AIDS virus, and breast cancer is no longer the death sentence for her that it is for so many others.

“Relatively healthy, happy, safe and financially secure, she is the reigning queen of the ‘golden mean,’ the norm by which other women are measured.”

Yet, these are the women who, despite the fact that they supposedly don’t need the mammograms that Planned Parenthood will continue to fund through grants from Susan G. Komen, or abortions that will require prior ultrasounds in some states, or free contraception, are fighting tooth and nail to stop lawmakers from entering women’s wombs. Why are they so invested, because of an altruistic shared sisterhood or the idea that they want this right, even if everyone would have us believe they don’t need it? When Milloy asked the disgruntled activist what her motives were, she said this:

“To be honest with you, we are rattled because just a few years ago this nation was brought to the absolute brink and we nearly lost everything,” Margaret Doyle said. “If you were comfortable in your lifestyle, had your Colonial home with a picket fence and thought ‘this is my entitlement, I am supposed to have this,’ and then learn that it can all go away in a hot New York minute? And instead of creating jobs, helping us stay in our homes, improving roads and schools, these dangerous men are in the state legislature obsessing over our wombs.”

She certainly has a point about greater attention needing to be placed on far more pressing issues facing our country, but her use of the word entitlement causes Milloy pause in his summation on the differing visibility of white and black women in the debate. He writes, “For the white woman, perhaps, it is the fear of losing the rights that she’d come to take for granted that has led to the explosive displays of rage. For the black woman, thwarted in her drive to win some of those same rights, fear of not getting what she deserves is probably fueling a silent fury that will soon erupt as well.”

In other words, white women wouldn’t be taking a stand in this discussion now if they didn’t finally stand to lose something as well. Of course Milloy is using broad assumptions in making his points about the racial divide in the reproductive debate. There are likely as many white woman who need these services as there are black women who don’t, but the entire discussion reminds me of the black feminist movement and how an entirely new effort evolved among black women in the 1970s because they simply were not fighting for the same things as their white female counterparts. Is that what’s going on with the absence of women of color in this discussion today? Forty years ago black woman created their own movement because white feminists failed to acknowledge oppression based on race and class. Are white women now ignoring that the limiting of reproductive rights is as much, if not more so, about controlling poor women of color and their offspring, as it is women’s bodies in general?

Or maybe black women are largely silent on the national reproductive platform because as Milloy says, “the white woman decides who gets heard in such matters. By her own efforts, but also through her unique access to wealthy men, she builds institutions to support her causes.” When you think about it, would black and Latina women as the true face of this issue—whether that is legitimate or not—ever garner as much attention as it currently does? Or is it the power that the white woman holds and her ability to speak up in certain circles what commands attention from the government?

Thus far, Judy Eason McIntyre, the Oklahoma Senator who held up a sign during a protest at the state’s capitol that read, “If I Wanted the Government in my Womb, I’d F*** a Senator,” continues to be the sole black face in a sea of white ones taking a prominent stand on the reproductive debate. This begs the question of whether black women want to get in on the discussion or if they’ve been pushed out of it. It’s fine for white women to take a stand on this hot button issue but what shouldn’t happen is what Milloy suggests, “other women may sit at the table, but she alone speaks on their behalf.” If women of color stand to lose so much when it comes to reproductive rights, then we should have a voice in this as well.

Do you see the reproductive debate as an opportunity for all women to work together toward a common goal or are the agendas of white women and women of color too different to put up a united front?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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This satirical video explores the dynamics between black women, black men and interracial dating. While the piece may hit a few sore spots, we found it pretty funny.

So you won’t be caught off guard, here’s a description…

“Every year over 80,000 black men are abused, battered, neglected. Join the WWSPCABM to make a difference for these innocent victims, and give these men a voice!”

Watch the video below and let us know what you think about it.

Do you find this funny? We sure did.

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It’s possible to be plus-size and healthy, and a recent poll on African American women from the Washington Post and the Kaiser Family Foundation is proving that there’s more than one form of healthiness.

Although black women polled in the survey were heavier than their white counterparts, their self-esteem was notably higher. About 66 percent of black women who were considered overweight or obese by government standards had high self-esteem, compared with just 41 percent of average-size or thin white women, which is a major plus for mental health.

High self-esteem wasn’t rooted in denial about the effects of obesity on one’s physical health either. Ninety percent of black women in the survey said living a healthy lifestyle is very important to them, coming before religion, career, marriage, and other priorities. The finding that two-thirds of these women eat at fast-food restaurants at least once a week, and just more than half cook dinner at home on a regular basis, seems to contradict the desire to live healthy, but the look of a healthy body to black women varies greatly, a write-up of the study showed.

Joseph Neil, a full-time trainer and certified nutritionist in Washington DC, said black women usually come to him with a body-mass index of 29, which he attributes to work demands that lead to eating fast food and less exercise. White women on the other hand typically have a BMI of 22 or 23.

White women “are self-conscious about the numbers. They say I want to weigh 110, 115, 120,” he said. But black women “give me sizes — 6, 8, 10, 12.

“White women are not coming to a trainer saying I want to be a 12. Every white woman who wants to work out and train wants to be petite, petite, no curves, no hips, no butt, nothing, just toned.”

For most, that’s not surprising. Despite the images we’re bombarded with on a regular basis, the lack of black women on runways and in magazines may actually be saving our self-esteem, some said. According to Heather Hausenblas, a University of Florida professor of exercise physiology, Black women “are just not comparing themselves to these white models.”

We are catching on to the high rates of obesity in our community and the negative effects that being overweight can have on our physical health, though, as writer Michaela Angela Davis pointed out.

“We’re not saying its super fly to be super fat. We’ve never said that,” Davis notes, but unlike in white culture, “black women are not criminalized for it.”

Do you think black women are finally figuring out how to balance love for their full-figured bodies with the need to be physically healthy?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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All of you who cry foul whenever a new study points out the “alarming” rates of STDs among minorities may be on to something. A new study by researchers at the Indiana University School of Medicine and the Regenstrief Institute has found that young minority women are screened for chlamydia at a significantly higher rate than young white women, and this discrepancy may contribute to nationwide reporting of higher rates of this sexually transmitted disease among black and Hispanic women.

In the study, which is published in the February issue of the journal Pediatrics, researchers looked at the screening rates for 40,000 young women ages 14 to 25 and found black women were 2.7 times more likely to be screened for chlamydia than white women. For Hispanic young women that rate was 9.7 times higher. Race wasn’t the only thing that led to higher testing rates, though, women with public insurance also had greater odds of chlamydia testing, compared with women with private insurance.

“For some common conditions like breast cancer, white women are more likely to receive a screening test like mammography. For chlamydia infections – which are highly stigmatized STDs – white women are less likely, while minority women are more likely, to receive screening,” said the study’s first author Sarah E. Wiehe, MD, MPH, assistant professor of pediatrics at the IU School of Medicine and a Regenstrief Institute affiliated scientist. “This may mean that providers make judgments about a woman’s likelihood of infection based on her race or ethnicity. Yet in an asymptomatic condition like chlamydia, all sexually active young women should be screened.”

It’s definitely true that you always find what you’re looking for, and if doctors are sticklers for testing minority women it’s no wonder they find STDs at the rates that they do. While they’re spending time profiling minority women, they may want to pay a little more attention to what’s going on in white people’s backyards as well. These results obviously don’t take away from the fact that we still have an issue with STDs in our community, but healthcare advocates may need to slow down on making chlamydia and other sexually transmitted diseases “black issues” and start screening white women at equal rates.

Are you regularly asked to be tested for chlamydia and other STDs?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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An old coworker coerced me into watching the last season of ABC’s “The Bachelor,” and while I found it hard to watch in the beginning, after the first few episodes it became sort of a guilty pleasure because I had to see what was going to happen in the end. What turned me off most about the show, despite tuning in every week, was the was the fact that contestants would have full-blown breakdowns over not being handed a rose after knowing some random guy for a day or two and the idea that a woman would actually agree to marrying a stranger after a few months. I couldn’t turn away from the cries and the embarrassing confessionals, but to me, the overall concept was silly.

A pastor at St. Sabina Catholic Church in Chicago is taking “silly” one step further. He says the show is degrading to women in the way that we criticize the representations of Black women in the “Basketball Wives,” “Real Housewives of Atlanta,” and “Love and Hip Hop” series. Rev. Michael Pfleger told the Chicago Sun Times:

“This whole concept, I mean, how sick is this that 25 women are throwing their bodies and their hearts at this one man, who is having all these little romantic runs with the different women here and there, and the women are doing whatever they gotta do to try and get him. How degrading is this for women?

“I mean these women were crying their eyes out when they weren’t accepted, and one even fell out on the floor, and I’m just amazed that this show is allowed to go on,” he said. “What is this teaching our young girls about what it takes to gain the acceptance of a man, and doing whatever you gotta do to sell yourself?”

Reverend Pfleger definitely has a point. While we complain about black and latino women throwing drinks and punches, he’s concerned with white women throwing themselves at men. He even said he’s shocked the National Organization for Women and other associations haven’t spoken out about “The Bachelor,” and to my knowledge he’s one of the first people to say anything about the portrayals of white women on reality TV (that’s the only shade 99% of the show’s contestants come in). Granted, I’m surprised he takes more issue with this show than some of the Real Housewives series, but the reverend does have a point about the desperation these women exude and what they’re modeling for young girls.

The south side pastor even went so far as to say the portrayals of women on the show are equal to video vixens in rap music videos.

“To me, this is just as negative,” he said. “And if we’re going to condemn negative rappers, particularly African-American rappers, calling women names and degrading them, which is wrong, then let’s equally do it with shows like ‘The Bachelor.’ The whole principle of this show is wrong.

“The women cry, fight, and plot against each other, acting as if they are a piece of meat being dangled from a hook for the bachelor’s selection,” Rev. Pfleger said. “In one episode, the bachelorettes climbed the San Francisco [Bay] Bridge and even went skiing in bikinis. They fell and purposely bent over just so the bachelor could see their most private parts. The whole thing should just make us all sick.”

I really applaud the pastor for calling out society on its double standard. I can’t even count the number of articles that have been written condemning the representations of black women on reality TV while everyone else gets a pass. “White women do it too” should never be an excuse to continue with stereotypical portrayals on TV, but with so many people—white and black—being quick to call out rappers for how they degrade women, maybe the “The Bachelor,” in its 16th season should be criticized just as harshly too. The only serious critique I’ve seen of the show is related to the lack of diversity in its casting, and it would definitely be interesting to see how the show was received if there were women of color behaving the same way the current contestants do.

I’d never given much thought to the portrayals of women when I watched the show, probably because I didn’t see myself in the contestants so I felt much more separate than I do watching Bravo or VH1. But I think Rev. Pfledger is making a much larger point about society overall: if you’re going to call out one industry for the way it represents women, you have to call them all out.

What do you think about the pastor’s view? Do you watch “The Bachelor?” Do you think it’s as degrading to women as some rap lyrics and videos?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Vh1, the Viacom cable channel known for catapulting D-list reality programming to the forefront (think Surreal Life), appears to have taken a break from their usual proliferation of black female stereotypes on Sundays to, instead, make way for foul-mouthed, drink-tossing white women.

A few Wednesdays ago we were introduced to the Baseball Wives who, like the Basketball Wives, may be some of the worst representations of women they could find, and the drama is all the same. Amidst prying into each woman’s personal business, spreading rumors and the subsequent physical altercations, each undoubtedly regards herself as the classiest of the bunch—class translating, “I have a substantial amount of disposable income with a stripper mentality.” Within five minutes of airing, they ruined every positive stereotype associated with the ladies of baseball–if there were any positive ones to begin with.

But, don’t credit Shaunie O’Neal for this one. Shed Media is the production force behind this mess.

Likewise, it was only fitting when the Mob Wives returned to Sundays for a second season of prison calls and death threats that executives decided the baseball wives should join them. Of course, it could be because they are making room for Love & Hip-Hop LA or something, but, nevertheless, Vh1 Sunday nights are now filled with brawling white women.

And, while Vh1 is doing women a disservice in our entirety, their new white-hot Sundays show exploitative television is going all equal-opportunity, with the first installment of Mob Wives: Chicago is set to air this spring. For that, I say thank you Vh1 for momentarily diverting the heat. A round of applause for showing the world women of all complexions are the same kind of crazy and willing to yank weaves for attention and/or money. And a big applause to your station for proving you’ll exploit any and every thirsty chick for a quick dollar. Kudos!

The only question left to answer is when will we stop watching?
LaShaun Williams is a Madame Noire contributor and columnist whose work has appeared in the New York Times and across several popular sites, such as HuffPost Black Voices and the Grio.  You can visit her blog at lashaunwilliams.com or follow her on Twitter @itsmelashaun and Facebook.

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The word victim has a unique connotation to it. In some ways it places total blame on an outside source for one’s circumstances while in others it implies weakness—something no black woman wants to be associated with. When we look at the headlines about black women that catch our attention, they’re often sensational and allow little room for understanding—like Amber Cole. Or we’re not present at all because we seemingly don’t matter—these are the countless black women you don’t hear went missing until their bodies pop up and the case turns from missing person to homicide.

But do we allow any room for black women as victims ourselves? In many comments overheard in public or read online, there’s usually an attitude of “what is she crying about,” or “girl, get over it,” “move on,” “let it go,” “It’s not that serious,” attached to stories about black women who are facing circumstances that may seem trivial to us but are overbearing to them, and deserve some ounce of sympathy.

It’s never good to portray yourself as a victim for the sake of pity but it’s also not healthy to not allow yourself to have weak moments. As much as we say we hate the “strong black woman” stereotype, we sometimes enforce it ourselves by not allowing any explanation for our circumstances other than “why did you let that happen to yourself.” Wallowing in sorrow with a “the world is against me” type attitude doesn’t do you any favors either, but it’s important to find a space somewhere in the middle where you don’t beat yourself or every other women up for moments of weakness without shifting to the other end of the spectrum and feeling like you’re on the verge of self-destruction.

I can remember talking to a woman about some issues I was having once while holding back tears, and as she talked to me about how I shouldn’t be ashamed to cry and asked why I was forcing myself not to, and telling me X, Y, and Z wasn’t my fault, all I could think was, I wish she would stop talking to me like some stay-at-home white mother crying in the middle of her living room surrounded by toys because she can’t clean up the house and cook dinner all before her husband comes home from work. In other words, I didn’t want to be seen as helpless and weak because that’s what crying and admission of feeling defeated meant to me.

White women pretty much have that whole victim thing figured out quite well no matter what position they’re in in society and what circumstances they’re facing. While I don’t think black women want to be seen in that way by any means, I do think we have to cut ourselves a little slack because that’s they only way the rest of society will begin to. It’s also part of helping the rest of the world see that, yes our stories are that serious, and no, we can’t just move on. The world needs to recognize that we don’t bring every hardship in our lives on ourselves, and that we deserve compassion too, and I think that attitude shift has to start with us.

Do you think society allows black women to be victims? Do you think black women allow other black women to feel like victims? Should they?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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When we talk about the cost of obesity, it’s usually related to the burden weight-related issues can have on the healthcare system but obesity may be hitting overweight men and women’s wallets in another way—lower pay, according to U.S. News and World Report.

Unsurprisingly, overweight women are hit the hardest. According to the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth, in 2004, average annual incomes for obese women were $8,666 less than workers with a normal weight. For overweight men, the salary was $4,772 less. In 2008, the researchers found that obese women made an average of $5,826 (15%) less than normal-weight females.

What’s odd is that this pay gap only seems to effect obese individuals who are Hispanic or white. In both 2004 and 2008, black men who were obese earned more than normal-weight black men, and wages were similar for obese and normal-weight black women.

Perhaps this is part of the reason why overweight black women have a higher quality of life than white women, or it may prove that black women’s weight doesn’t mentally and emotionally hinder them from being able to perform on the job and earn the appropriate salary.

What do you think accounts for the fact that overweight black women don’t earn less? What about the fact that overweight black men earn more than normal-weight black men?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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The fact that black women are less prone to psychiatric disorders may also explain why they are less likely to suffer from premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), the most severe form of PMS.

Black women are also less likely to suffer from premenstrual symptoms overall, according to a study published in Psychological Medicine earlier this year. The premenstrual experience of more than 1,600 black women was compared with that of more than 900 white women (this group included Latinas), and black women’s risk of PMDD was less than half that of Caucasians. PMDD is defined as five or more severe PMS-like symptoms such as anxiety, mood disorders, bloating, cramps, and aches and pains.

Typically, women who experience sex- and race-based discrimination are more likely to have PMDD, but when it comes to black women, it appears we have a health advantage over this condition. Good news for us.

Do you experience strong premenstrual symptoms each month? Have you ever been diagnosed with PMDD?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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