All Articles Tagged "what men want"
Men can be vocal about what they want from their significant others, sometimes expecting them to anticipate their needs or indulge their desires. Yet, they don’t always express what they would like to do with their partners. So, here’s a list of things that your man might like to do with you, in regards to entertainment, sex, and hobbies, that you might not have thought of.
When love seems eternal, some men like to signify that by having the both of you mark one another with a token of affection, like an image or name written on the other person’s body. The latter idea is kind of a terrible idea, so even if your man doesn’t want you to tattoo his lips on your hips, or put his initials on your body, a lot of men simply enjoy getting tattoos with their significant other and hitting up the tattoo parlor together for a quick thrill.
Men can be just as sneaky as women. They speak in metaphors all the time. In fact, they prefer them to straight out telling you what changes they want made. And usually, they’ll use another couple as a reference point to send you a subtle signal. Here are common things your man might say about another couple, and what he’s trying to tell you.
We’re always trying to get men to try our fruity drinks, or to come shopping at Target, or to watch a romantic movie. But pay close attention, and you’ll notice your man has been pleading for you to try all kinds of things with him. You thought he was joking when he asked you to do these activities, but he wasn’t!
Every relationship we have — even if it does not end in marital bliss — is a learning experience. Through trial and error, I have discovered what it takes to be a fantastic girlfriend.
For some men, straying is in their genes, and you really can’t do anything about it, nor should you try. If he is the unfaithful type, let him go. As for the others, who may exhibit a glimmer of hope or simply have commitment in their DNA, the following reminders may be useful:
1. Remember: It’s a man’s nature to look. Don’t go psycho just because you see him looking or talking to another female. Remember, it is in a man’s nature to look. If he doesn’t touch and you don’t get jealous, it will keep him wanting you more. He will then work harder to keep your relationship going.
Same thing with nagging. When you continuously nag it will only annoy him more and then the nagging can turn into resentment. If you ask him to do something for you, do it once and then be patient. The screaming approach has never worked.
2. Avoid “fatal attraction” calling. Calling him over and over makes it look like you have nothing else going on in your life and thus are more needy than independent. Also, don’t stalk him by any social media sites. That never goes down well either.
Read more on YourTango.com.
We know men aren’t the best communicators. That’s often because they don’t want to upset women by saying what they’re really thinking, feeling or desiring. And when it comes to sex, it’s no exception. So we have to turn to other places to get our cues about what men really want. What better place than a medium made for men, by men? That’s right, the world of adult film.
We’re already working so hard to find men/impress men/get men to commit/keep men. We don’t need any more work on our plate as it is. So please, stop wasting your energy on these things that men don’t even notice, or worse yet, don’t want!
Agreeing with him all the time
Men (the ones that aren’t narcissistic) can’t stand a woman that agrees with everything they say. When he asks you where you want to have dinner, it’s because he genuinely wants to know (so don’t say, “wherever you want to go”)! When he picks at you about something, he wants you to fight back! A man can tell immediately when a woman is just agreeing to appease him, or make him like her. And it’s a turn off.
Men may seem like they don’t want to communicate, and that they definitely don’t want to communicate about relationships, but there is one guy that would be happy to chime in on your love life—your dad! Dads aren’t solicited enough for love advice, when they can be a wealth of knowledge. Here’s why:
I used to be extremely argumentative. Whenever I was in a serious relationship, my boyfriend and I would argue all the time. About what, I’m not sure. Our arguments would go on for hours and include slammed doors, storming off, and cell phones forcefully flipped shut. (As a sidenote: flip phones definitely added a bit of satisfaction when hanging up on someone. I miss that.)
In all that fighting, someone invariably had to be the one to apologize first. I never kept track, but looking back, I realize that it was rarely me. I’d like to say that I wasn’t the one apologizing first because my boyfriend was always the one in the wrong, but that can’t possibly be true. Maybe I wasn’t the quickest to say “I’m sorry” because I’d bought into the fallacy that, as a woman, I’m right one hundred percent of the time.
Unfortunately, whoever started that whole “the woman is always right” thing definitely did women a disservice in terms of fostering positive dating relationships. As a result of this teaching, some women simply never apologize for anything. Men, on the other hand, seem to be the kings of “I’m Sorry” and maybe that’s because they’re taught that they’re always messing up and that it’s their job to maintain the peace in the relationship. Jewelry ad campaigns implore men to say they’re sorry with diamonds. ProFlowers.com has an entire “Apology Flowers” section. Some of my favorite movie scenes involve a man executing a grand gesture to express his desire to reconcile.
Curtis Smith from AskMen.com explains the apology tendency:
Most men [feel they] can never get things done right. We have become so overwhelmed with women’s demands to be treated better, that we’ve somehow lost touch with reality by forgetting to maintain a balance. Some men have become so concerned with pleasing their women that they’ll do just about anything to keep them happy… including apologizing for things they haven’t done wrong.
No healthy relationship consists of one partner always being the one to bridge a divide. If a man is in fact doing a woman wrong all the time, then maybe the relationship should be re-evaluated. In most cases though, there’s enough blame to go around.
Granted, some women do want to apologize and simply don’t know how. If we’re socialized to believe that we’re always right, then what are we supposed to do when we know we’re wrong?
Step One: Figure out a good time. In a little spat, it’s better to just apologize, drop it and move on immediately. In a bigger argument, it may be best to wait until he is in the mood to listen…and you’re in a mood to say “I’m sorry” without using a snappy tone.
Step Two: Be sincere. There’s a clear difference between apologizing because you truly see the error of your ways and apologizing because you want the other person to shut up.
Step Three: Own up to your share of the blame. Though men are famous for it, women can be ruled by pride and ego just the same. Admitting your own wrongdoing is not fatal. You’ll survive it and your relationship will probably be better for it. At the same time, there’s no reason to say “you’re right and I’m wrong” when you don’t feel that’s true. Instead offer to agree to disagree or apologize for making him feel a certain way or for saying something a certain way.
Step Four: Be ready for your apology not to be accepted. Depending on the offense, sometimes a simple apology just won’t cut it and your significant other will still be legitimately upset. Consider your apology to be the first step in reconciliation, not the only step. This is, of course, assuming your boyfriend isn’t extremely petty or one to hold a grudge for a week simply because you accidentally erased his show on DVR.
Step Five: Accept the consequences. There are things that an apology just won’t fix. Accept responsibility and do whatever you can (if anything) to fix the situation.
Life is too short to spend time bickering. Being quick to apologize for wrongdoing isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of maturity. Kids fold their arms and pout when their parents tell them to say they’re sorry. Adults don’t have to be told. They recognize their own wrongdoing, apologize and move on. In the future, choose your battles wisely so neither of you are spending the bulk of your days together apologizing after senseless arguments.
Do you find it hard to apologize to your boyfriend/husband? In your relationship who is usually quicker to apologize (not that you’re keeping track)?
Does every ex of yours avoid you like the plague? Do most of your breakups end with yelling, things breaking, and a borderline war? Are you incapable of an amicable split? If so, you might have some issues to work out before luring another victim into your web.
Even though men are more straightforward communicators, often stating exactly what they want in tangible terms, versus women that think in broader terms (a man asks, “Can you make me pizza?” a woman thinks, “Can you make me dinner without me asking so that I know you love me?”) we still don’t have them all figured out. But a little science and statistics can decode that hunk of testosterone lying next to you.